The Puppeteer (BillDip)

Chapter 18

The silence was deafening as he kissed me, stronger and more desperate with each passing second, laying me down and crawling on top of me. I tried to resist him, but he was too strong. I was too weak.

"Pinetree," Bill murmured his name for me over and over, but I never once uttered his. I was too angry, too confused: the bipolar fucker wasn't making any sense.

One minute, he was breaking my heart. The next, he kissed me too passionately for it to be faked. And I was meant to follow this, understand these vast changes? No, I was more lost than ever, wishing I had never died for him at all, never brought him back.

Bill pulled away as soon as I thought that. I had forgotten he could read my mind. He had always felt so unpredictable to me, even before I woke up sweating that pivotal night. Always one step ahead, able to predict my every move, even before I knew what I was going to do next. Then, he told me that it was always me; I was the real puppet master in his twisted game. And I believed him.

But it was never me. He'll always know the secrets in my past, my thoughts in the present, and my actions in the future. He'll always be the one controlling me, pulling my strings, and I'll always let him. I'll somehow fall into every trap he set for me, because I fell for him.

I couldn't believe I could ever mistake my relationship with Bill for love.

"Woah, Bill!" I yelled, shoving him away from me. I could feel my heart bursting from my chest and the beads of sweat tiptoeing down my chin, dripping onto my lap. His saliva still graced my mouth, remnants of our sin. I wiped it off my jaw sharply, not daring to break eye contact with the demon, refusing to even blink.

"Whaddup, kid?" Bill asked casually, as if he didn't know of the pain he tattooed in my mind. "What's the problem? Thought we were having a good time, like before."

"No, it's not like before," I protested bluntly. "Because before we were on Earth, and I was alive. I had my family, and friends, and my life was just finally starting to go on track. You know I got into West Coast Tech? It's the best collage in the country. Ford was so proud, he said-"

"Jesus Christ, I get it, kid!" Bill's voice rumbled through the abyss. "I was the one who ruined your life by wanting to be with you. I didn't force you to die for me, you chose to take my hand. You were the one who brought me back, who woke up screaming my name, who cried in the forest, who sacrificed yourself without even knowing you'd save me... if loving me is so awful, why'd you do all that? I think I was better off dead..."

For some strange reason, a lone tear dashed from my eye as I saw Bill's enraged expression. I had always considered him as the bad guy, the one always hurting me. I had never stopped to think of how I might be hurting him too.

"I did it because I thought I loved you. And, even though you're an absolute pain in my ass, I think I still do feel that way, somehow. Maybe I can find a way through this..."

I fumbled through the darkness, searching for his hand, and held it tight so he could never leave. It almost felt like I was that lonely boy clinging on to that statue in the woods once again, as I heard the blood pumping through his pulsing veins.

Almost.

***

Billdip is back, bitches! I think that's all I can say about this... love you guys,
Em xx