The Puppeteer (BillDip)

Chapter 20

My mind was hazy of the words I uttered before, a blinding blur of emotions that seemed to fuse together until I couldn't even tell how I felt anymore. Bill was still next to me, smiling because he didn't understand. He knew lots of things, but not everything. Not me, no matter how much he thought he did.

"Pinetree," he lured me in with his sickening touch. "Are you happy here?"

"Is the all-powerful demon, Bill Cipher, feeling insecure?" I taunted, bemused.

"Shut up, I mean it!" Bill glared, his eye slowly turning a shade of deep red. "Do you still want to go back and live again? Would you rather be with them, instead of me?"

I took a moment to assess the question Bill wanted the response to. At first, I considered being untruthful - telling him that I was absolutely content, and always would be. It would make him happy, hearing that. Bill when he's cheerful is much better than Bill when he's angry, and I didn't want to see him like that, partially for his joy, partially for my anxiety.

But I couldn't lie to him. I was supposed to be honest with him, and him me, even if we hadn't been playing by those rules for as long as we'd known each other. I had to be the first to initiate a healthy, honest relationship with someone I was supposed to give all my heart to.

"I'm sorry, Bill," I watched his face as his sinister smile faded quietly. "I love you, more than anyone, you know that, but you're not the only one. There's Mabel, and Great Uncle Ford and Grunkle Stan-"

"I know you do," he surprised me with the tenderness in his voice. "You only came here to save them, not to live with me forever. We could've lived in the mystery shack, like you wanted, but I was selfish. I wanted you all to myself, forever, not just for some puny human life span. You want me to say it? I was wrong, and I'm sorry, okay?"

The concern in his eyes was unnerving; he'd never looked at me like that, like he really cared. I knew he did, just could never express it. A little like me.

I wanted to be annoyed at Bill, who tricked me and deceived me, then just admitted that it was all for nothing. I wanted to hate him like I have done in the past. I wanted to swear and curse at him until my voice was hoarse. I wanted to cry by myself, and wish I was home with my family. I wanted to wish I had never fallen for him.

But I couldn't.

"Hey," I took Bill by the hand he had shaken loose. "It's okay. I want to go home, but I wouldn't just leave you here. I came here for my sister, yeah, but I knew that I'd have to be with you forever, and I came! Doesn't that show how much I love you?"

He perked up a bit at my honest words, as I thought he would. Maybe I was his puppet, but he was mine too.

***

I love Dipper too much... I actually think I've got a problem... seriously... Love you guys,
Em xx