The Puppeteer (BillDip)

Chapter 28

It hurt me, lying those who cared about her. I would say I was protecting them, I would say I didn't want them to cry anymore, but then, if I were to say that, I'd be lying once more. I didn't exactly know what my motivations were: I just didn't want them to see her, their joyful ray of sun, unable to shine anymore.

But I couldn't keep them away from her, not forever.

Without a single explanatory word, I took them both by the hand, and led them outside, their shoes damp with the dew of wilting grass. There, I stopped, and pointed to the girl lying on the ground. There, I let go of their warm palms, so I could touch her freezing, lifeless ones.

"Mabel!" The two old men exclaimed as they saw her resting there like a punctured balloon, her chocolaty hair rippling in the soft wind. They ran to her, throwing their limp arms across her chest, surrounding her with their unrequited love.

"What happened, Dipper?" Stan sobbed as he clutched her close to his heaving chest. "Why didn't you stop her? I thought I told you to make her happy!"

"What kind of a friend are you?" Ford vociferated, glaring at me through disapproving eyes. "You claim to care about her, and about us, and yet you spend all your time off gallivanting with that devil instead of helping the people who actually need you! What are you so selfish?"

I turned away from them, bowing my head, so they couldn't see my tear stained cheeks, my puffed, scarlet eyes. "I only wanted her to be alright. She was always the one I mattered most to me. I'd do anything to make her happy again, l-like before. You don't know how hard I wish for our lives to be like how they were when we were kids! You think I'm happy about everything that's happened to me? But Mabel, she was just s-so... I-I couldn't bear t-to see... I had to l-let he-her..."

I expected them to argue with me, object against anything I could say to defend myself, forever perceiving me as a sinner in the days in which it mattered most. I dared myself to look up to them as they peered at her blank expression, deprived of all the love and laughter we used to celebrate. They wiped their misty glasses and let themselves cradle me, as they did her. We forgot our arguments, our irrelevant troubles, and embraced each other with the compassion we all needed, but were unsure of how to tell.

"I'm so, so sorry," I mumbled through my wobbling lip. "I know you may never forgive me for everything I've done, but you need to understand that I care more than you could ever imagine. This was just something I had to do."

Their arms wrapped around my neck loosely, their only response, so simple yet so understandable. It was hard to believe that, only a couple of weeks ago, she was sleeping soundly next to me, as I dreamt of Bill. I'd be seeing him in five days, and every day from then.

My last days, I spent them with my two Grunkles. Days filled with sombre, noiseless voids and repressed fury, but I knew how they felt, deep inside: sorry. The one word that destroyed their pride, the one word they begged the other to say first, ever since Ford first came through the portal. Sorry.

***

This doesn't even feel like a billdip fanfic anymore... now it's just depressing. I hope you still like it, and aren't missing Bill too much... he'll be back soon, promise! Love you guys,
Em xx