Work Hard, Play Hard

Three. Wake Up

One night I was on a date with a sugar daddy and I really was not in the mood to act all cute and cheerful, so I didn't. I don't regret it though because it woke me up and made me realize what was happening.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He asked in a serious tone.

"Look mister, I'm on a date with you. I'm doing this for you!" I said as we stepped outside.

"Are you sure about that? You're doing it for the money sweetheart, remember?" He asked as he touched my chin.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled.

"Come to my apartment." He said as he held my hand.

"For what?" I asked even though I knew the reason.

"Oh.. sweetie you already know." He said with a disgusting smirk on his face.

"Give me my money and leave me alone." I demanded.

"I can't do that. You're a little bitch who is getting on my nerves with your sass and attitude."

"You don't even know me!" I shouted in his face.

"And I don't think I want to know you anyway. You know you are? You're just some selfish girl who is so obsessed with herself and you don't give a damn about anyone. You think you have it all now, huh? Keep that up and you won't have anything or anyone as a matter of fact. People won't like you cause' you're a conceited egotistical bitch." He said, threw the money at me and walked down the street.

There I was, sitting on the restaurant steps with $400 scattered around me. I began to sob and quite loudly too. My makeup was running and started making a mess of my face. I didn't care. Some people passed by and looked, others kept walking and didn't pay me any mind. I wasn't crying because he threw money at me or left me on a staircase. I was crying because everything he said was the truth. I was a conceited, egotistical and even arrogant bitch. I didn't realize, but I was. That was my moment to wake up, smell the roses and realize who I'd become.  

I wanted to walk to my apartment, but I was crying so much that I felt weak. I sat there and cried for about 15 minutes. In that time nobody stopped to ask if I was okay, they probably thought I was just some crazy, drunk New Yorker. Then a good looking young man appeared.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked as he tried to uncover my face that I was hiding with my hands.

"No, not really. Why do you care? If you want to use me, you can keep walking, sir!" I said as I wiped my eyes and took a good look at him.

He was the most beautiful guy I had ever seen and I mean that literally.

"Woah, woah, woah." He said as he backed up and put his hands up. "I just came to see if you were okay. I'm not that type of guy." He said as I just nodded.

"I just don't know what to do. I'm a terrible person. The ugliest girl you'll ever meet inside and out." I said as I bawled some more.

Then he sat down next to me.

"Look at me. I don't know you, but you're definitely not ugly. You're quite gorgeous actually." He said sincerely.

"Even though my makeup's running and I look like a raccoon?" I asked as we both giggled a bit.

"Yes. What's your name by the way? I'm Jackson. I go by Jace though." He said as he smiled at me. For some reason, I felt a connection with him. I felt that he was trustworthy.

"Oh.. I'm Carolyn. I go by Callie though." I said as I looked down. I felt so terrible.

"Beautiful name for a beautiful girl." He said with a smile. "Can I take you home or at least off these steps?" He asked humorously.

"Yes, thank you." I said as I smiled and we both stood up.

"My car is just down the street." He said as we walked to his car.

He drove me home to my apartment, which actually wasn't far from the restaurant. When we got there, he kept insisting that I tell him why I was crying, which I really did not want to do. I was scared of judgment and criticism.

"Wait!" He said as I was about to get out of his car.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"What was the reason for those tears?" He asked as he held my hand.

"I told you. I'm a terrible person." I said getting impatient.

"You're lying. Tell me the truth. You can trust me, I promise." He said sincerely.

That's when I knew he was serious and he actually cared. I told him the truth. I explained why I was in New York, the sugar daddies and my terrible change in personality. The funny thing was that he never judged me or made me feel bad for my choices.

"Wow..." he said when I finished explaining. He was at a loss for words. I could tell by the way he looked at me. He couldn't believe what I had just said.

"You... you do that?" He asked as he stuttered slightly.

"Yes.." I said as I nodded in guilt. I felt so terrible, so miserable with myself.

"I never would've thought. You're so pretty and funny and sweet and nice..." He said as I put my finger on his lips to shut him up. I didn't wanna hear anymore because those things weren't true, at least not at the time.

"Stop. Please. I am not pretty or sweet or whatever. I am so mad at myself for the way I changed." I said as I began to cry again.

"Shhhh... it's okay." He said as he opened his arm for me to rest my head on his shoulder. In that moment, I felt safe, protected and loved. The sound of his heartbeat soothed me. After a few minutes, I found myself getting sleepy and falling asleep in his arms.

"Callie." He whispered. "Callie, wake up." He said sounding groggy, which made me believe that he had fallen asleep too.

"Yeah?" I asked half asleep, half awake.

"Do you want me to take you inside?" He asked kindly.

"Yes please." I said with my eyes closing once again. It was around 12am.

He picked me up and carried me to the elevator in my building.

"What floor? Which apartment?" He asked as he stepped into the elevator with me in his arms.

"6, 45" I said groggily.

When we got to my floor, I gave him the keys and he opened the door. He turned on the lights and walked around looking for my bedroom. He obviously didn't know where it was, so I pointed to it. He walked in and placed me on the bed, pulling the covers over my tired body.

"I'll go. Goodnight." He said as he turned his back to leave.

"No, stay with me. Please?" I begged and pulled him back. I just could not let him leave because I did not know if I would see him again and I really needed someone to lay with me and make me feel secure.

"Are you sure?" He asked and looked at me questioningly.

"Yes. Come." I said as I gestured for him to come to the bed.

He got under the covers and snuggled up to me as if he had known me for me years.  It didn't seem like he was forcing it or like he had some other sick intention. He genuinely cared. Call me crazy for doing that, but in the moment, it felt right.