It's funny 'cause it's true

19- "That one thing every guy has tried to do"

Dear everyone,

Finally, I had the chance to talk to Jack Madison. It's been two days since the last chapter. Alice hadn't called me back yet and she wasn't responding to my Facebook messages again. I guess I blew the chance she wanted to talk to me. God, why did sleep have to be a thing? If only I hadn't jacked off to her, I wouldn't have fallen asleep! If I didn't fall asleep, I'd have the chance to meet her there. God-fucking-damn it. But seeing the fact that we weren't anything serious yet — it was just a one night stand and a botched date — I decided, you know what, I'll stop bothering her. I'd just wait, I guess, for her to call me back and respond again. Hopefully that happens. If not, well, fuck me. I told what happened to my friend, Jack, while we were at the cafeteria of his school, eating sandwiches and drinking coffee.

"That's fucked up. Jesus Christ," he commented. "And I thought what happened to me was awful."

"Why? What happened to you?"

"I saw Ellen holding hands with Zeejay and it's fucked up. But that's not even the depressing part. The depressing part is that she's moving to an engineering school. I don't know where but it's sure. And I don't know what to do. Shit, I'll be depressed the entire fucking time I'm studying here."

"Go back to being gay, I guess," I suggested, jokingly, but he didn't laugh. It wasn't funny. This was serious after all.

"Ha ha," he said, which was sarcastic. "Well, I know I can move on, you know, but now, I feel so overwhelmed by everything. I feel like there's no chance for me in the romantic market place, you know?"

"I felt the same before I got to date Kitty, to be honest. Hey, man, don't worry. Remember what you told me after our breakup? You told me there's lots of people out there who can accept me. There's more people out there who are a thousand times better than Kitty, that would listen to me, that would help me in times of my depression. You told me that. And it's true. At first, man, I didn't want to move on. First breakups are always the worst. But hey, I did, and it's all thanks to you! You helped me move on and now I'm the one breaking girls' hearts by impregnating them and then not committing to the child. Jesus Christ, I'm the fucking asshole now."

"I think that's like a curse or something that when you used to be the hero, you'd become the antihero later on. Call it the Breaking Bad effect."

"I don't know what I'm gonna do, man. Alice isn't calling me back. She hates my ass. Mary also hates my ass. She blocked me on Facebook. I don't know if she's gonna have an abortion or if she's gonna have the kid put on adoption or something. Is she gonna keep it? I don't know."

"You don't want to see that kid in a few years from now, Max," he warned. "Your heart won't take it."

"What are you talking about?" I said, reacting to what he said unpleasantly. "Just because I created him means I have emotional connection with the kid!? Where did you learn that? Movies? TV shows? I won't cry or apologize if I see him in the future with his mom, you know. I'd be thinking, now you regret the abortion, huh!?"

"Well, that's a thing, isn't it? That when a father who hasn't seen his son in decades finally sees him, he tears up and apologize or something? Isn't that, like, a thing?"

I shook my head. "In movies, probably, but I don't think that applies in real life. If I see the kid in a few years and find out he's my son, I won't tear up or anything. I'd just go, 'oh good! Good for me to avoid raising that piece of shit. Bullet dodged.' Simple as that."

"You're an asshole. No wonder Alice isn't calling you back yet."

"Fuck you, Jack. Fuck you!"

"Seriously, bro. Seriously. Anyway, um, I haven't told you this but.....remember the party at Tony's place?"