Impossible to Forgive

Chapter 26: The Fortitude to Die for One's Village

There was perfect silence as Sasainako's story sunk in, and she smiled at us like a farmer selecting the fattest hog for slaughter.

"Well, now that you know, there's really no way that I can let you leave this room unless it's in a body-bag or under my jutsu."

She stepped towards me, causing my heart to freeze in fear, and I saw Kakashi start to tense up behind her in anticipation.

"I think that we'll start with you, Kaiyo." She walked towards me slowly with a sick grin plastered across the lower half of her face.

I took a deep breath steeling my nerves and looked her right in the dull eyes, "I'll die before I let you put that genjutsu on me."

"Oh, you will? And may I ask how? You have no weapons, nothing. Also, I won't stand by and let you harm yourself when I'm not done with you yet."

"I don't need a weapon." I thought about one of the more morbid discussions that I had had with Toukuro one day. We were discussing strategies for when you are caught as a prisoner with no hope of rescue. I had had an idea, but the Fifth Hokage had put the kibosh on it immediately. "I don't need a weapon because I have my chakra, and that's all it will take."

Sher pursed her lips in anger, "I also won't let you preform any hand signs."

"That's not a problem. I will simply cut off my chakra flow to my heart."

"Well I hate to inform you, but that's impossible."

"It's not. It was an idea that I had years ago for captured ninja to be able to kill themselves before they could leak intel on the village. I tested it too before the current Hokage put a stop to my program for being too radical. I've never stopped the chakra flow to my heart, but I did manage to completely stem the flow to my right hand once. I almost lost the entire hand by doing so, but I know how to keep my chakra from entering a single part of my body and thus killing it."

I smiled, I had always hated my mother, but I did inherit one thing from her that I was proud of: the strength to put my life behind the good of the village. I had received her Will of Fire.

"So you will really kill yourself before I can place you under my genjutsu? Well then, it seems that you have selected the body-bag as your ticket out of here."

I sighed, completely resigned. Even during the torture that was a living hell, I had still held enough hope that I never even thought about the possibility of taking my own life. But I would rather die than become a lifeless puppet to be used against the village.

The acceptance brought me clarity like I hadn't had since I was brought into this tiny cell. My mind was completely calm and still, and in this state I realized something. We knew why Sasainako was attacking the village, but not what she hoped to gain my doing so. She made it sound like she was doing everything simply for revenge, but when I looked at the twenty-nine years since her husband's death, I knew that there had to be something more driving her forwards. There was something that I was missing.