*The other version is on motionlessinwhitefanfiction.com, it's a little rated R*
Haley's POV
I sat currled up on the couch with Dexter nessled in between my legs and a blanket smothering us both, flipping through the channels. Ricky had left for Washington yesterday. I feel completely selfish, he was the one who was supposed to be depressed right now, not me. We had texted once, he was very distant. But, that was to be expected, right?
"Maybe he went to Washington to get away from you, you depressing whore." The voice in my head taunted me. "You should just go cut youself." I started tapping my fingers, trying to brush off that tempting thought. What would Ricky think? He'd be so disspointed in me.
"How would he know?" The voice laughed. Gently lifting Dexter off of my lap, I walked into the bathroom. And so I started my search, opening every cabinet until I found the disposable razors. I felt the adrenaline course through my veins as I got excited. It's really morbid to think that bringing harm to myself was exciting, but it really was. Grabbing my hairbrush, I used the end to smash the razor into bits, extracting the blades from within.
"Hello little friends." I said smiling as I cupped them in my hands.
After cleaning the fragments off of the floor, I rolled up my sleaves and starilized everything. Using the tip to go deeper, I slid the blade across the middle of my forearm over uncountable scars. A heavy sigh escaped my lips as I felt the relief rush over me. I sat for a minute, savoring the pain and the beautiful sight of the crimson liquid draining from my arm and running down the drain of the sink. Pushing the tip back into my pale skin, that's as far as I got as I heard the door open.
"Hale?!" Shit. Josh was here. Scrambling to clean the fresh wounds, I searched the drawers for bandaids. There was a knocking at the door.
"Hales, you in there?" Fuck. I stumbled with the small sticky fabric as I laid it over top of the oozing blood.
"Ye-yeah." I stammered. I heard Josh turn the handle and I quickly turned around to see the shocked expression on his face.
"Hales..." He trailed off, finding the blades that were laying on the counter.
"Don't Josh." Stepping forward, he pulled me into his chest and kissed the top of my head. I was determined not to cry this time. The tears were stinging my eyes. Josh pulled away, looking intently at me.
"Why?" Shaking my head, I thought about that for a minute. Did I even know the answer to that question?
"I- I relapsed. I was just alone and my thoughts got the best of me I guess." I saw the disapointment in his eyes and the reality of what I'd done hit me. "Please don't tell Ricky." I pled.
"I won't, but I suggest you doing so yourself." Sighing, I nodded my head and followed Josh into the living room. We sat down on the couch and he held my hand.
"So, are you gonna tell me about this?" Taking in a deep breath, I told him everything. I told him about my parents, my depression, everything. Josh now knew more than I had let Ricky know. By the end, I was crying hysterically in his arms, shaking like a god damn chihuahua.
"It's okay Hales, I'm here for you." He whispered in my ear. Pulling back, I looked up into his eyes. Leaning forward, Josh connected his lips to mine. I tilted my head as we deepened it. What was I doing. As much as I wanted to stop, I couldn't. Josh's lips were like heaven on mine. His toungue traced my lower lip as it begged for entrence. Granting his wish, I pushed him down on the couch. His arms ran up my sides and illicited a moan from my lips. Picking me up by waist, while not breaking our kiss, he carried me to the bedroom a gently laid me down on the bed.
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*Sorry it's short again, and I'm sorry in general, please don't hate me!*
