fading // calum hood [hiatus]

Chapter 8

Previously: 

I couldn't lose her. 

Not today at least. 

Calums POV

I push the door and the unpleasent sound of a creak fills the silence as I stay in place and watch it swing open. 

She was sat in the corner of the room, her head in her hands on the floor. Her hair was over her shoulders with her back slouched covering her face even more; her legs were beautifully reflecting light from the window showing off her caramel skin, she was sobbing. 

It's strange how after every sound she made from her sniffs to her loud sighs in attempts to breath, I felt a strong sting in my chest; it was like every single uneasyness she felt affected me just the same. It scared me. 

I push my thoughts aside and stumble towards her, keeping a fair distance. She flinches back in fear, her eyes snapping up in my direction before she wipes another falling tear from her smooth skin. I just want to go to her, kiss her, touch her, tell her it was a mistake. 

"Ivy," I start, taking another step towards her when she holds out her hand signalling me to stop. She stands up, one hand still up in the air keeping my halt and the other balancing herself on the wall due to her shaking knees. He eyes were swollen, red, filled with tears. It didn't take long for me to join her wet eyed state. 

As she shakily stood up, the wind from the open window which displayed the depressing sunset swayed through her hair making it flop over to her back. As soon as her hair had left her neck, I saw swollen veins on her neck; they were red, beads of sweat passing over them occassionally. My eyes widen in shock, that's never happened before. 

"What happened to your neck?" I say quickly, my feet not failing to stumble towards her without thinking. She backs up against the wall but doesn't stop me, I pause before I make my way to study her neck properly. She stays quiet and traces her hand over the showing veins, they moved every time her heart beat, popping out every other second. The skin over the veins which used to be red had now toned down to a color closer to her skin color, only they were still noticeable. It worried me- a lot. 

I force my hand back from touching her neck, afraid that she would scream at me and tell me to leave. I searched for her eyes, she was looking down at her shuffling feet, avoiding my worried gaze.

"It's nothing, Calum." He voice was shaking, low and unpromising. A long pause continues after her words had left her lips slowly. 

"It's never been there before." I mumble quietly to myself, "Does it hurt?" 

"Only when I don't breath enough." I think back to when I found her, she sounded so pained in her attempts to breathe.

This is my fault.

Even when I don't intend on hurting her in any way I still manage to offer pain both metally and physically. 

Another tear rolls down my cheek, her eyes drasticly moving to the tear staining my face, watching it reach my slightly parted mouth before she cupped my jaw, rubbing the tear away with her thumb. 

Ivy's POV 

I held his face in my hand and he stared at me, he looked so jumbled up in his thoughts. Like last night after he had told me what it was like to live at home, when he told me how he felt, when he showed how he truly saw life.

Suddenly, all the anger, frustration and traces of fear I had towards him disappears. I remembered what my father always used to teach me when he was around, "You are how you grow." It meant that if there were to be curses in the house while we were growing up, that would be how we speak when we've finished growing up. Basically, the way things are at home give a massive influence on how you live once your older.