The Sexton House - Harry Styles * COMPLETED*

48.

The ride home is silent, making me regret not being able to tell Anna that I will not go see my dying father. She doesn't understand how bad it was growing up, what is was like to have a man like that as my role model. He destroyed my childhood, ruined my teenage years and still, to this day, haunts my memories with his abusive behavior and belittling words he drilled into my head. I wish I could just tell Anna everything that happened, but I just can't open up that much yet.

I still cannot believe my mother would go see him. Yes, I know he is dying, but he treated her so poorly when I was growing up, he ruined their marriage and was a horrible husband to her. I know it's the right thing to do, but how can she be so forgiving? I don't understand her actions and I probably never will, I just hope she doesn't get hurt again while trying to do the right thing. I would have to kill him myself if he dared lay another finger on her. She might get on my last nerves at times, but she is still my mother and I won't let anything happen to her.

"Why won't you go see your father?" She finally speaks, after so long without saying a word. I take a deep breath and let out a sigh. I know there is no way for her to fully understand where I am coming from unless I tell her everything, but I would rather leave the past in the past and move on from it. I don't need to remind myself of my unforgettable childhood and all of its daunting memories. But I'm afraid she'll never fully grasp the reason why I am so against him.

"He was a terrible father and he doesn't deserve to get to say sorry for what he has done, I will never forgive him." I know my words sound harsh, but how am I supposed to stand before him and accept his apology that I know isn't genuine, he just wants to feel better about himself before dying. Anna looks over at me with creased eyebrows.

"Don't do it for him, Harry, do it for you. You deserve an apology and if he is willing to give it to you then I think you should accept it." She explains, softly smiling at me. She has a point, but I would still have to face him and I would rather not see him when I could be spending that time with Anna. He doesn't deserve my time, he deserves to die and I hope it's a painful one. I want him to know that even with his best efforts to demolish my mother's and I's life, that we managed to pick up the scattered pieces and put them back together.

"I don't want his apologies. I want to forget that part of my life and pretend it never happened." I say, keeping my eyes on the road. The rest of the ride home is silent and I'm kind of glad. I want to hear Anna talk just not about my father, anything but him. She doesn't need to waste any of her life on such a terrible soul. I spent way too much of my life letting him control my thoughts that I am actually surprised I ever escaped his tight hold on me.

"I just wish you would think about it. I mean he is dying and if one day you change your mind and want that apology, it'll be too late." She has a point, again, but I will never want his apology. I am perfectly okay with never seeing his face again. The sooner he is six feet under, the sooner I'll be at peace. I continue driving, watching all the trees go by and the farmland that litters the side of the roads. Anna is silent as she looks out of the window.

3 days later

The last few days I have spent my time with Anna, listening to her complain that her back hurts and I just remind her that it's part of being alive along with the shortness of breath after running. I guess this is just all so new to her and it's understandable, she's only been alive again for a few days that I know of. I am currently sitting downstairs on the couch waiting for Anna to join me after she gets ready. I flip through the channels on the TV, hoping for something interesting to come on.

"Harry, you're not going to believe this." I hear Anna shout from upstairs, the sound of her footsteps creaking on the stairs is heard as she makes her way down towards me. I turn my head to see her holding what looks to be nothing in her hand.