THE BLIND GLASS RAGE

6

a/n: im cold

***

In order to cause as little discomfort between Josh, Noah, and I as possible, I successfully avoided speaking of the night at the club for a long time. As long a time as it would allow, really, seeing as the circumstances that would force itself onto us would soon call for it by name. It would call for a lot of things that way, begging me to bring them back up, and make people remember that this happened or that something else happened, or that the world would be coming to a awful end, or something as equally important. Anyway, though, I didn't speak of it. There was no real need, at first. It didn't make sense to, because all it would do, was make him and I mad. And Noah could come at me any time he felt like, and I would snap right back. He was already on my Piss List, anyway, so he was going to be one of the firsts to go.

My hands were cramping over my computer, and I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen anything but a stack of papers or a backlit screen all day long. This is the life I chose, though, so I let it play over and over, the way I always imagined it would when I grew up, and went to college, and lived out my dream as accurately as I could. Though, I was starting to think that nothing I was ever going to do would be accurate, because I couldn't even get the frame right for a fucking flower shot.

In my photography class, we're supposed to put together a mock portfolio filled with nothing but photographs of nature, and I've got some of them decent enough already, but I found some flower in the ground that I got a nice picture of, and I can't find the right effects for it. It was driving me unbelievable crazy, really. Crazy enough to keep me silent since I got back from photography, which was three. I had another date with Joe soon, though, and I knew I was going to appear somewhat nice for her, seeing as she's never been anything but kind to me. That's not usually how my mind worked in term of who get's what from me, but I let it be. Because she was nice, and the sky opened up a bit when I was with her, and that didn't happen with many other people.

"Do you want anything to eat?" Parker  asked me, speaking over the beeping of the microwave we had, that I'm sure housed something repulsive, like a hot dog. "Or water?"

"Maybe for you to shut the fuck up?" I asked, and he frowned at the side of my head, though I didn't offer an apology. He knew I wasn't going to, and that I meant it, but not in a terrible way. "Like, I'm trying to get something done. I've been trying to get something done for four hours."

Ignoring me completely, his mind hopped to the next thing. "Where're you taking Joe? Have you guys hit any bases yet?"

Not bothering to grace him with the gift of being seen, I kept my eyes ahead, and my voice flat and empty. "You're disgusting and I hate you."

He knew that I didn't mean that, either, but pouted again. "Open the fucking microwave," I snapped. "I know you hear it beeping."

"You know what you need?" He asked me, and I scoffed, because no, I did not. "Some time with Josh, if he's not off doing whatever him and Noah do."

I've never forced myself to disregard something as consequential as what Parker just said, and all I allowed myself was a swift roll of my eyes, and a glance at my phone, which lay next to me. "Easy enough," Parker grinned, taking three long strides over to me, and grabbing at my phone. Honestly, I was too tired to protest, but he grinned when he turned it on, and curiosity picked at me, until I gave in.

"What?" I questioned, trying to knock away some of the hope in my voice, seeing as I wanted Josh to have messaged me first, and told me that he missed being around me, and that he didn't like Noah. That he hated Noah. That would've been nice. Instead, though, it was Joe.