THE BLIND GLASS RAGE

20

a/n: dedicated to milkyjoshler, seeing as she waited so goddamn long for this, and im so fucking awful for waiting so long to update. you guys mean the world to me, you know, and i really love gabby. she's important to me.

in other news, because i will let you breathe, my girlfriend is so goddamn beautiful.

also, i tried to write this as best as i could. for gabby. ill even edit later!

***

tyler robert joseph

"So, we're coming home today."

That was my first sentence to my mother over the phone, my coat (I think it was Josh's) continuously being tugged away and against me, due to the wind, my face stolen and masked by the cold, and my tongue heavy and sharp in my mouth. Almost immediately, though, her excitement could be felt over the phone. It burned through my ears, and ached in the center of my chest. I felt like shit, with all the screwing up that I did while I was away. It hadn't even been as long as you'd think, and my life had been completely altered. By a boy who held all the water and depth in the world inside of these brown, murky holes in his face (who I'd only known as my best friend until recently), a fucking do-gooder with a lot of nerve and blonde hair, and two quirky people that I should've never met, but I'm glad that I did. You've got Audrey, with her red, messy hair, and Parker, with his chicken obsession and love for some spunky girl who hates dancing.

So, in summary, I was not all that happy to speak to my mom.

She was happy to hear we were visiting, though, and I hated that, too. I almost considered leaving without Josh, just to allow myself a break from the tension that was forever wallowing in the pit of my stomach. It was eating me all the way through, with razor nails and teeth made of ice, and it was making its merry merry merry way, and I couldn't really do anything to stop it. Besides the fire already situated in my mind.

The idea of me going by myself, though, was foolish and selfish and rude. Foolish, because I had no car, selfish because he wanted to see our families, too, and rude because you can't just steal someone's van. Even if they sucked your dick, and make you feel awkward and terrible whenever their eyes claw at you.

Because of the reasons listed above, I sat outside next to Josh's van, after I hung up with my mom, for thirty more minutes than necessary. Some bag from Parker was slung across my back, and it held everything I knew I was going to need, in order to survive. Such as my laptop, my camera, and every charger in the world. My too big phone sat in my back pocket, straining the fabric of my tight jeans and making me want to scream. But, it had the best camera.

When Josh finally made it out, I was frozen. It was warm as hell the day before, but it was freezing now. My entire body seemed to have gone into some form of stupor. All my limbs were glued into place, and I stretched them out as best as I could, the crackling and trembling making me feel as if I'd been stuck in time. The popping of my bones sounded through the parking lot, and the noises formed some sort of song that no one understood. Not even Josh, who just looked at me and smiled.

"What the hell are you smiling so hard at?" I questioned, giving a small, white huff. The cloud that moved from me made me roll my eyes, and I took another deep breath with my hand in my hair, trying to figure out if I was up for this. If being in a van with him for the next hour or so, not even counting possible traffic, was something possible. Either way, I tightened the grip I had on the bag, and got into the goddamn van.