*Amandas POV* May be a little triggering..
My eyes fluttered open slowly and I blinked, looking around. I'm back in my room, no sexually abusive drunk around me. I thought for sure I'd be dead.
I slowly got out of bed, going to my closet. What to wear today? I didn't feel like dressing up, honestly. Not like I ever did.. I scanned my closet. Black skinny jeans, big sweater, and fuzzy socks? I'm thinking yes. As I was putting my other sock on I heard weird smacking noises coming from downstairs. What the hell is that?
I walked down stairs and made my way towards the sounds. I turned the corner into the living room and-- Oh dear god. That's disgusting. Oliver was making out with some beach blonde with huge tits.
She lifted her head up and glared at me, "Who's this?"
Oliver looked at me and gave me the look I half expected I wouldn't ever see again, but surely enough here it was. That cold, dark glare. "Just some stupid bitch that's staying with us cause she cuts herself."
My mouth dropped, did he really just fucking say that? I couldn't move or talk, I was so shocked. Tears began swelling in my eyes and spilling over, running down my cheeks.
A smirk spread across the girls face, "Aw, you cut? How pathetic. Is that why you're wearing all that? To hide all those ugly little cuts? Why don't you go and do it some more, it's not like anyone cares."
Oliver smirked, "Oh, how I've missed you." And he threw another dark look at me before grabbing her face and kissing her again.
I ran upstairs crying my eyes out. Why? What did I do? I didn't mean to "interrupt" their little make out session, I was just curious about the noises. Whatever, I need my release. I know just the thing. I ran to my bag and pulled that familiar little black box out, I smiled.
"Long time, no see." I whispered.
I took the blade and took off my clothes, replacing them with shorts and a tank to make it easier. I took a deep breath. If they tell me to do it, I guess I will. I deserve it.
I ran the blade across my wrist, deeper and deeper. I watched the blood spill out from my wrists. I felt really numb, this was the deepest I've ever done this. I took the blade to my thigh, carving over the words already scarred, and adding a new sentence.. "a bitch who cuts herself." The smell of the blood was filling my senses and making me dizzy, my vision was getting blurry. I was covered completely in cuts and blood. I hope they would be happy. Of course, they'll never know..I hope.
I stumbled out of my room and went into the bathroom, closing the door beind me. I looked around in the medicine cabniet for some sleeping pills. I felt extremely dizzy and I could barely stand, I kept falling into things. For what seemed like an eternity, I found them. I took them, stumbling back to my room not even thinking about closing the door. I tried opening the bottle of pills but they ended up spilling everywhere on the floor. Fuck.
I hurried and tried picking them up, blood still running out of my cuts and on to the floor. Ugh, fuck it, nevermind. I pulled myself up the best as I could and walked back into the bathroom, trying to clean up all the blood. I heard a door close downstairs and then a pair of feet coming up. Oliver stopped at the door way quietly, I didn't hear him at first. He watched me as I cleaned the blood, with an uneasy facial expression. I turned around and the expression changed from uneasy to a glare.
"I can't believe you did that." He said shaking his head.
"It's the only thing I can do, who cares anyways?" I spat.
"Whatever. You're so stupid." he shook his head and walked to his room, slamming his door behind him.
I quietly went back to my room, closed the door and locked it. I won't be coming out for awhile. I looked at the pills spilt all over the floor and sighed while picking them up. I am stupid, I almost killed myself because of two fucking morons pushing me too far. This has got to stop.
I am extremely sorry if this has triggered anyone, but it does state it would be in the chapter title, I just wanted to warn you guys before you read it. Do you think Oliver will apologize? Or just ignore Amanda? Tell me what you think in a comment. :)
