6 Minutes Wrestling with Life

Gap Soldiers

Roger Bannister not only broke the record
For the fastest mile,
He also broke down the walls of impossibility.
As soon as Roger Bannister
Ran a sub 4-minute mile,
Many other runners soon did it also.
Because they believed that it was possible.

I need to dream.

I need to believe.

I need to know that I have some control in my life.

That if I work hard, I will be rewarded.

That life is not arbitrary.

I need to believe bad things happen to good people, for a greater reason.

That dedication, sacrifice, hard work, discipline are all worthy attributes which will eventually produce extraordinary results.

That if I live a certain lifestyle, my family will be better for it.

That there is a direct link between my actions and my results.

That If I prepare properly I can face the insurmountable foe and look him in the eye and say, "Bring it on, I can take whatever you can dish out."

I need to keep living in order to save my daughter from dying.

That is why, on zero hours sleep over the last four days, I finally put my truck in drive and I leave the hospital parking lot.

That is why I am taking my two sons to wrestling practice today.

That is why wrestling has become even more important to me.

There are very few places on this earth where I feel totally at home; where I can truly be myself; where I have a deep affection for the people around me... a place where I crave to be at all times.

The basement of the old P.C. Richards Building in Commack, which is the home of the "Razor Wrestling Club", is one of those places.

I arrive at the club with Maverick and Travis and head down the basement stairs.

The place has an old boxing gym feel.

As we head down the stairs, my right hand skims the wall as a guide.

There is a huge chunk of concrete missing in the wall. My hand instinctively lifts itself up before the hole and drops itself back down onto the wall right after it ends.

I have literally done this over four hundred times during the last two years. For four days a week, for the last two years, it is at this basement at Razor Wrestling where you would have been able to find me.

I open the door to the basement gym. I see Mike Patrovich sitting on the wrestling mat against a steel beam. He is writing on a chalkboard with a marker, preparing for the upcoming lesson.

"Hey guys, how's it going, how was your weekend?" he asks.

As he is putting on his wrestling shoes, Maverick looks up at me with a look that says, "How are you going to answer that?"

An electrical current of guilt runs through my body and I immediately think to myself, "What the hell am I doing here, am I crazy?"

Mike lifts his head and sees Mav looking at me strangely and says,

"What?"

"What happened?"

I hesitate, but then I detail the last four days of my life, and at the end I confess, "I am feeling really guilty for being here right now.