6 Minutes Wrestling with Life

Everything Happens For a Reason

No matter how much your heart is grieving,
If you keep on believing,
The dreams that you wish
Will come true.

Walt Disney

March 8th, 2013

It has been 1,152 days since we brought Jess back home.

I can't tell you it has been easy, but I can say it has been worth it.

My original fear that my daughter was going to die before BettyJane and me has now been replaced by the fear that she is going to outlive us.

It turned out Jess's seizure was overridingly caused by meningitis, which we learned by reading the hospital records many months later.

While being a normal teenage girl, Jess had a virus that traveled to her brain, which made it swell, and made the electrical circuitry of her brain overheat.

Jess has made small strides forward, has had setbacks, peaks and valleys, and more strides forward.

Most importantly, I know she feels our love.

During the last 1,152 days, Maverick and Travis have wrestled a combined total of over 600 matches.

I used to think wrestling was an individual sport.

It is not.

It is a true team sport.

Your team consists of your parents, your family, your coaches, your workout partners and your supporters.

Without each of them doing their part, success is not possible.

In 2012, in his senior year, Maverick finally went to the "Super 32" and became an All American, and was third in the nation in technical falls.

He also won the highest title a high school wrestler from New York can attain. Maverick won a New York State Championship, with me present and his mom watching via the Internet at home, where she was caring for Jess.

Maverick's New York State Championship was a team effort, one I am proud to be part of, and is a true testament to the power of pursuit.

One half of "I want both" complete.

In 2011 Travis also became a High School All American, by placing 4th in the NHSCA Freshmen Nationals. In 2013, Travis was first in the nation in technical falls and third in the New York State High School Tournament.

Believe it or not, I am happier Travis took third in the State Tournament rather than first. Taking 3rd is the hardest thing to do in wrestling. In order to take third, it means you suffered a devastating

loss along the way, and you had the mental toughness and the ability to handle adversity, to regroup and to keep moving forward.

I already knew Travis is a champion, now I also know he is a rebounder.

And that may be even more impressive.

Cassidy is my miracle little girl. She has grown up to be a caring, loving person who is always looking to help others.

Everyday she draws a picture of a happy, optimistic, radiant world.

I can't wait for Cassidy to compete in high school sports and we are in the process of coming up with a dynamic athletic goal for her.

I truly believe it is an important aspect of one's life.

All I can say about BettyJane is I am the luckiest man alive.

With over six billion people in the world, the right one chose me.

That is the greatest asset a man can have in his life – a great wife, mother and friend, all in one person.

I am glad my sons are wrestlers.

Wrestling has given back to me more than I can ever imagine.

I am very thankful.

It is a great feeling knowing you are unbreakable, and I have wrestling to thank for that.

I look forward to each day and I can't wait for the time when I can do something for someone who can never repay me.

I am looking across the room at Jess in her bed, in our living room.

BettyJane is beside her and our dog Bandit is cuddled next to Jess.

A memory pops up into my mind when, a few years ago, Cassidy wanted a dog for Christmas.

Over the years, I had always told Jess "no" she couldn't have a dog.

Something inside me was telling me to change my stance this time.

I asked Jess if she would be hurt if I let Cassidy have a dog after I denied her having one.

She was just too excited about having a dog in the house to even remember me denying her one in the past.

BettyJane secretly took Jess to pick out a dog at the kennel.

They both agreed on one, until BettyJane noticed the dog did not have a tail.

Jessica turned to BettyJane and said; "You're telling me that if I had something wrong with me, you wouldn't want me?"

Needless to say, that dog Bandit is now laying next to Jess on her bed, and does so everyday.

Everything in life happens for a reason. If you listen to your inner voice you will get closer to what that reason is.

It just takes time to fully develop.

I look forward to the rest of our lives together as a family and I can't wait to see the full picture when it develops.