The Fear Of Falling Apart // Dan Howell

Chapter 18

"Who was that?" Louise asks, suddenly standing behind you.

Jumping from the unexpected approach, you drop your phone and bend down, your hand on your chest, picking it up.

"Jesus Louise! You scared the crap out of me!" You say, putting your phone back in your pocket.

"Sorry" Louise chuckles, "But in all seriousness, who called?"

What do you say? You can tell Louise the truth and admit that you are going to spend the day with Dan tonight as you really hit it off last night or you can cover up the truth, as she'll probably lecture you and it's not up to her what you do with your life!

"Luke's coming down so I'm going to spend a few days with him!"

Great. Now, you have to keep this up and it'll only develop into a spiral of lies! (Note the sarcastic tone!)

"Oh how lovely!" Louise says, smiling, "So is he coming down today?"

"Uh, yeah"

There you go - another lie. You know full well Luke is coming down tomorrow and there is no reason for you to lie to Louise about it but it just slipped out. If she found out you were spending time with Dan again, she would know exactly what was happening and you don't want to be seen as a cheat. You will break up with Luke as soon as you can but for now, it won't kill Louise to not know this.

"You better get ready then!" Louise says, waltzing over to the breakfast bar.

"Oh urm yes!" You mumble, walking out of the kitchen quickly.

You speed walk through the living room and into the hallway, pulling your phone out again.

"Can't wait to see you today :) x"

You seriously love Dan and you have to admit, you can't wait to see him either.

~TIME SKIP~

In your black skinny jeans, white vest top and red and black checked flannel, you walk up to Dan and Phil's apartment and clench your fist, to knock on the door. Taking a deep breath, you stand and wait as you hear a patter of footsteps come from behind the wooden door. You hear the lock click and see the door open wide, revealing a very cheery looking Daniel.

"Hey!" Dan waves, grinning like an idiot.

You walk in and close the door behind you and Dan immediately wraps his long arms around you. Things feel a little awkward after last night but you still return the hug and nuzzle into the crook of Dan's neck.

Pulling away, you smile and say "Hello you!"

Dan just looks down at the floor with a slight blush upon his face and you reach out to grasp tightly onto his hand, making him look back up at you.

"So what do you wanna do first?" Dan asks, squeezing your hand as he guides you into the living room.

Tickle fight? Make out? Cuddle session? All of the above? Basically, those are the only thoughts occupying your mind but you know that you need to take things slow as you've only just arrived here!

"Well I remember kicking your ass at Mario Kart one time ..." You tease.

"Oh come on - that's hardly fair!"

You giggle and poke his nose, making his face crinkle up.

"I'm sure you've been practicing Howell!" You giggle, falling onto Dan's sofa crease.

"Indeed I have! Bring it on (y/l/n)!" Dan laughs, running over to TV and picking up the steering wheels.

A/N So this is a song called 'Kiss me slowly' and I really think it describes the relationship between you and Dan as your emotions have built up and up to the point where you want to show them but you know you have to take things one moment at a time! Enjoy :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Km75Pc0YzdQ

It's almost as if nothing has changed between you too; one year ago you were doing exactly this! You walked in, hugged Dan tightly and then challenged him to a game of Mario Kart, teasing him by using his last name (which you hope to soon take). You won and he sulked a little but you ended up cuddling up to him. You hesistated last time but this time, you won't. This time you'll do things right - the time for being childish and awkward is over! You are ready for anything that could possibly could happen between you and Dan.

Anything.

"How did you win again?!" Dan exclaims, throwing his arms up.

"Like I said before, I'm just too good for you!" You laugh.

"That's not what you said last night" Dan flirts, winking at you.

"Touchè Howell" You grin.

"Another game?" Dan asks.

"Nah, I'm bored of beating you" You sigh, falling back into the sofa.

Dan leans forward and turns the TV off with the remote and then he falls back next to you. You both lay in silence for a little while and then you decide to move your hand to Dan's fringe, pushing it up and running your fingers through his fluffy brown locks.

Dan just smirks and puts his arm around you, bringing you closer to him.

"I missed this" Dan whispers closely to your ear.

"What?" You question, twirling his fringe around your index finger.

"Just spending time with you" He says softly, laying his head on your shoulder.

"I missed it too" You admit.

Dan's puppy dog eyes look up at you and you let go of his fringe. He looks down from your eyes to your lips and then adjusts his position so both of his arms are securely around you. Without even needing to think about it, your lips collide and you begin passionately kissing him. Dan pushes you down against the sofa, slowly moving his lips against yours as his hands linger around your waist and you move yours to grasp his and pull them down to the sides of your stomach. Dan smirks and you smile back, making him gently bite down on your lip and pull it slightly as he continues to make out with you. Even though your moment seems too intimate rather than romantic, it really isn't. It's just two people who have fallen in love and are crazy about each other, wanting to let out all the emotions they have ever felt.

You continue to take things slowly and gently as you both know you have whole day to enjoy this and there is nothing to stop you from going furthur. Or is there?

A/N Again, sorry about how crap I am at intimate scenes and stuff but I hope you get the idea of things! You are finding it harder to resist Dan and you will need to tell Luke the truth as soon as you can but be prepared for the unexpected because Luke is also on his way to break up with you. What will happen? Will you and Luke break up? Will Dan find out? Vote and comment if you would like to and maybe check out my recent post on my wall if you have the time :) Thank yoooou! ~ Katie ❤️