One Hundred Letters for James

027

027:

Goal-Keeping

(I really miss you, so much that it's pitiful. I'm practically drowning in my own self pity.)

A few months after I quit dancing, in Grade Ten, I joined your soccer team. The other guys were pretty sceptical of me joining, but you managed to convince them that I would be a great addition to the team.

I played goalie, since the others on the team decided that goal keeping was my forte.

I did great the first few games, surprising even myself. The other team members slowly accepted me into their previously boys-only circle. The funny thing was that some of them were actually intimidated by me, especially Theodore Wesley. He was really adorable, and the fact that he was practically in constant awe of me was really sweet.

He even asked me out, but I turned him down. He was a little upset, but I figured he would get over it.

We made it to the semi-finals that year, and it was really great.

We won that game, and we were all excited about going to the championships. So excited, actually, that some of us thought it would be okay to kiss me. Well, only Theodore, but still. I was mortified, because I thought he was over me. But obviously I thought wrong.

"What the hell, Theo!" I exclaimed once I had successfully pushed him off of me.

"Sorry," He said, blushing.

"God, Theo, you're gonna give me a heart attack." I pushed my hair out of my face, sighing.

"Whoa, Theodore, when we let her join the team, we agreed that none of us would try anything. That's not fair." Riley, the team captain, protested. I blushed at the thought of having some of the guys on the team actually interested in me.

That thought stayed with me, even at the finals the next day. I was off my game, and it showed in my performance.

We lost that game, and even though it wasn't solely my fault, I blamed the loss on myself.

I didn't leave the team, but I was pretty scared of being the goalie, so I asked for a different position. I took the place of Theo, who had quit the team shortly after the season's closing. I became a forward, which suited me well since I was a fast runner.

I still beat myself up about that loss, since we never made it to the finals after that.