One After The Other

Day One

Dear, everyone

When I walked off the bus I felt the cold air push against my face. I quickly looked down hoping my hat would shield my face from winters harsh attitude. On my way to first period and boy named, Billy looked at me and laughed. I knew exactly why. He was my last mistake. He looks like a young James Dean and he told my I was special and I believed him.
He told me I was beautiful, smart, worth wild. I trusted him and the next day he runs around school showing everyone my underwear and bragging (he's a total dick).

Second period sucked. Another test, another F. Every question gets harder and harder I want to give up but I don't want them to see. It's a real self-esteem buster, every one yells out, "I got 16/20. WOW I suck" and look at me and laugh it off, 10/20, 8/20, 4/20, 0/20. And of course Brad has to at to my guilt call me names and telling to go to hell and I just wanna yell, "FUCK you" but I'll stay quiet.

Walking down hall way I felt a harsh shove I look over its Amber and Shay, Barbie 1 and Barbie 2. Shay snickered, "look at you, so pitiful. What's wrong with you! Your so ugly and fat!"

"I know. Haha. I can't even believe your wear that garbage. You know your not that ugly but you wear all that black. Face it know really cares about you!" Amber seeks in there.

"Your a mother fucking cunt and I think I might kill myself if I were you. Go to hell!"

Maybe I was feeling brave of stupid I don't really know at this point, " Go fuck yourself" I bleeked for a second and felt a hard sting to my face, she had slapped me and just walked away. I ran to the bathroom before anyone could see the tries fall dont my face. I tripped and skinned my knee. The tries began to poor down my face. My bag also spilled everywhere as I began to pick up my stuff. My pencil sharpener broke into peaces. I quickly grabbed the blade and rolled up my sleeve but as I looked down seeing the old scares haunting me each having a different story I paused.

Sitting on my knees I saw the door sweeing open. Ms.Kandle walked in, she was startled, "Please pick up your stuff it's in the way of the door" she left without hesitation. The tries flowed down my cheeks again and i grabbed the blade down my arm over and over. I wanted to scream or run but I was stuck so I continued till the bloode began to pool down staining my new black jeans. Know one even noticed.

I walked on my house catching my mother and father in a heated argument a glass bottle was even broken on the ground. My Step Dad yelled, " bitch..." till he saw me and my mother asked me how my day was I said good and went up stairs. They began to tell at each other again.

My parents are like mindless robots. She cooks and clean. He works and works. The same route everyday. They pretend like everything's okay but it never is. My real father left me when I was 4 and my brother 8. I wish I could go back to thoughts times everything was truly good.

But now everything is not good and it might never be.