One After The Other

Me And You

I miss you so much right now, you made me feel so special maybe that's why i loved you so much. I don't know why. I just want to forget you but I can't, all the memories crawling into my head. When I first came to the conclusion I liked you, I mean I liked you from the moment I saw you talk across that room. I liked you even though i didn't know your name. But i'm talking about a few weeks after that when I finally let my heart open and say the words out loud, "I like you" only saying them to myself but still I skipped down my hallway think to myself about you.

Or the moment I first hung out with you outside of school, we went and got frozen yogurt with our little group you didn't really talk to me, more giving me lingering stares but at the end of the night I wanted you more than ever and you told me we should hang out again, I was caught on every word you said. Or when we were hanging out at the park with Loral that we had started to do almost every day after school, but this day Loral asked if you liked Sky and you said "yes", I put my head down and stopped talking, you looked at me like you were sorry like you knew my heart was slowly ripping.

The memory of every text, we texted every night for hours at the least 5 hours, at the most 10. Conversations never growing old, never a dull moment. Conversations you lived for, Moments you hold on to, bring us closer and closer. When I needed someone to be a kid with me you would be silly and have fun with me. When I needed a shoulder you were that shoulder, when I needed someone to make me feel like I wasn't alone you made me feel like there were others and you were that other. Well you always made me feel that way, like I mattered and like I was special. I wanted to hold on to those conversations. To always remember them. 

The memory of the time you went over to my house always creeps up, making me think you might just come over to tell me you love me or even just to hang out and talk. I know you won't but it always comes to mind, you were dating Sky and she was there with us but I think I was more worried about what I looked like and what you would think of me then she did. Maybe becuase she didn't really like you anyways (probaly why you broke up after like three weeks) but it still made me mad she was using you.I wanted to impress you, we laughed a lot and had a lot of fun. I caught you looking at me and flirting but I didn't care I just knew I wanted you.

I also remember the day I got me, you, and Loral lost in a neighborhood trying to get us home and we finally ended up walking on the side of the freeway to get us home, till you said, "I'm going" and you went. You ran across the freeway not even looking and you rann back. You asked me and only me if I wanted to go to I did but I was shy and said, "No, you're going to get me killed I Sprained my ankle" you told me you would carry me and I was in love, you went again at least four times. That's when I fell in love with you and I still am.

As good as these memories are the sad ones always come too Like when you finally told me you liked me more than anyone else you've ever liked but a girl named Tammy tore us apart and it wasn't fair she was my friend and she was jealous that you didn't like her but you liked me. And it happened again after you confessed again to me.

My best friend Ellie told me she wanted to date you and I wanted so bad to tell her she could be I couldn't let her and when I said no she made me feel so guilty and bad about myself and then when I asked you if you liked her you apologised and said you did. I felt so sad but mostly angry because even though you said you did I still knew you liked me more than her at least that's you told me a week before but I blow my chance cause I was to scared. And you Decided to date her anyways, you guys tried to be together but Ellie's parents won't let you. Ellie tried to make me be her supportive friend and tell me how sad she was. One part of me was angry and wanted to tell Ellie "you deserved it, you should be aloud to have him cause I didn't get him." and I had also wanted them to have dated and for him to break her heart too. Then the other half of me I felt so sad every time I saw her face I thought of you and wanted to just fall to the ground and cry.

Then I think of when I told Ellie I could be friends and she started crying on the phone because she couldn't and still doesn't understand why. I also told Tammy I couldn't be friends with her and she cried too. And how I had to separate myself for you and it was so hard I cried every night I was alone. Remembering how I learned you were going to california for the summer and I just wanted to hold you close but I had to let you go. A summer of loneliness and sadness.

Then more memories pop up in my head how you broke my heart all over again. You thought I hated you and every time you said I hated you I wanted to cry, So I finally told you I loved you and you told me you still wanted to be with me but I was scared that something would tear us apart again so I blow my chance again...

I miss you and still love you I just want to forget everything and go back you when times were good, when we talked, go back to when I was skipping down the hallway. I tried to forget and I did for a while when I dated Another but now I just have to face it all over again. I didn't even really like Anthony but He was my way of forgetting and moving on fooling myself and everyone was okay and was over you but i'm not and I just ,miss you now.