I still remember the look on your face Lit through the darkness at 1:58 The words that you whispered For just us to know You told me you loved me So why did you go away? Away
I do recall now the smell of the rain Fresh on the pavement I ran off the plane That July 9th The beat of your heart It jumps through your shirt I can still feel your arms
But now I'll go sit on the floor Wearing your clothes All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss I never thought we'd have a last kiss Never imagined we'd end like this Your name, forever the name on my lips
I do remember the swing of your step The life of the party, you're showing off again And I roll my eyes and then You pull me in I'm not much for dancing But for you I did
Because I love your handshake, meeting my father I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions
And I'll go sit on the floor Wearing your clothes All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss Never thought we'd have a last kiss Never imagined we'd end like this Your name, forever the name on my lips
So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are Hope it's nice where you are
And I hope the sun shines And it's a beautiful day And something reminds you You wish you had stayed You can plan for a change in weather and time But I never planned on you changing your mind
So I'll go sit on the floor Wearing your clothes All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss Never thought we'd have a last kiss Never imagined we'd end like this Your name, forever the name on my lips
Just like our last kiss Forever the name on my lips Forever the name on my lips
Just like our last...
I looked at the picture of the blonde on my phone screen and frowned. I took a deep breath and looked away. "Henry... How's your ma doing?" I asked, quietly. He shrugged. "She's good. She seems pretty busy. She was working a lot. Then she decided she didn't need to. So, she quit. I heard her talking to someone about moving back here. But I don't know if she really is." He mumbled. I bit my lip and nodded. "Do you miss her? Like... At all?" He asked, carefully. I frowned. Emma and I broke up after dating for 16 years. Henry's our 14 year old son. She's my first love. Probably my last. I don't think I'll ever want anyone else.. I'm 35. I haven't wanted to date anyone else. It's been 3 years since we broke up. Henry wants us to get back together but I don't think it'll happen. I would love it to. But too much happened. Too much time has passed now. We barely talk anymore. Only when it concerns Henry. He lives with me during the school year. Then spends summers and half of the major holidays with Emma in New York. I think Emma's been dating. But, I'm not sure. I miss Emma. I wish we could get back together. But I don't think it's possible. "I.. I do miss her." I mumbled and looked away. --- It's been 3 days since I told Henry I missed Emma. I was scrolling through Instagram when I came across a picture that made my heart break.
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#ISaidYes
I felt tears in my eyes and my chest began to burn. Henry ran into my office and frowned. "D-did you see it?" He asked, sadly. I nodded and looked away. "Mom, you have to do something." He said. I shook my head and looked at my desk. There's nothing I can do. ---- It's been a month. I was walking to the kitchen when I heard the doorbell ring. I furrowed my eyebrows. It's 7 am on a Wednesday morning. Who's here so early? I walked to the door and pulled it open, my eyes widening at the blonde standing there. Her mouth opened a little and she stared at me. "What are you doing here.." I whispered. She bit her lip. "H-Henry told me you missed me." She mumbled. I nodded. "Tell me not to marry her." Emma said and put her hands in her jacket pocket. I bit my lip. Tell her. This is your chance. You could marry her, finally. You could be happy with her. And Henry. You could be a family again. "You.. You have to marry her." I found myself saying, tears building in both of our eyes. "What?" She asked, her voice cracking. I frowned. Too much happened. She has to marry this other woman. I nodded. "We uh.. You don't wanna be with me. Get married. Don't worry. I won't keep Henry from you or anything like that." I said, my voice broken. She shook her head. "I-i thought you missed me." She cried. I nodded. "Believe me. I do. But you.. Have to marry her. I can't be what you need. So.. Marry her." I said and my tears fell from my eyes. She shook her head again. "Regina please." She whispered. "Why are you marrying her if you're begging for me to tell you not to." I cried, frustrated. "Because! I... Nevermind." She said and backed away. I couldn't say anything as she turned and walked down the path, back to her car. She got in and sped off, not turning back and I closed the door. I leaned against it as my tears fell down my cheeks. Some stories don't have a happy ending. And I have to live with that. ----- I took a deep breath as I stared at the clock. Today's Saturday, December 13th. It's been 8 months since Emma got engaged to Lilith. Henry went to New York 3 days ago for the wedding. It's today. At 6. Henry wants me to come and stop it. But I can't do that. I watched as the clock changed from 5:59 to 6:00 and I bit my lip. I felt tears in my eyes, knowing this was the last chance at Emma and I being together again. And I'm not taking it. My phone started ringing and I answered it, quickly. "Mom! You gotta come to New York. It's Ma. She's in the hospital." "What? Henry, what happened?" "She tried to kill herself. Apparently Lilith is abusive. She left it in a suicide note. You have to come!" "I'm on my way right now. Okay?" "Okay." "It's going to be okay. I love you." "I love you too." I Hung up and wiped the tears away. I left my office and went to my car, immediately turning it on and backing out of my space.
2:56 am, I pull into the hospital parking lot. I ran inside after parking and I found Henry sobbing in the waiting room. "Mom!" He shouted and pulled me into his arms. "Shh. It's oka-" "she died!" He cried, cutting me off. I felt my heart shatter in my chest and I held onto him tight. "Uh.. Sorry to bother you. But, Ms. Mills... If you would like to see her before we-" "yes. I'll follow you." I said, tears falling from my eyes. Henry pulled away from me and I followed the doctor to a room. And there she was, in bed. She looks so peaceful. "She overdosed on several different things. It was too late to do anything." The doctor said, sadly. I walked to Emma's bed and grabbed her hand in mine. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you not to marry her. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you I still loved you. I'm so so sorry I couldn't save you. I love you Emma. And one day I know we'll meet again. I just hope you still love me." I said, my tears falling onto her cheeks. I leaned down and kissed her lips one final time.
Our story didn't have a happy ending. But I have to be grateful for what we had and the happy memories. And that's what I'll do.
