Little girl's strife

part 4- life on the edge

after 2 weeks :

no food left , no clue if the woman really had the intention to come back , to hug us tightly , to take our hands and warm them ...... humans have emotions right ? she will miss us , hurry to us ; to her children ? how can someone not feel ? how can we be humans if we do not ? is she a human?... I prayed she is , I begged god ,I wished upon every shooting star .. I cried in the shadows  and smiled to my only cord that linked me strongly to this life ; my bro....

 despair is feeding on our souls but still ,  hope existed within heart , pieces of hope , pieces of belief ..

we re just two toys in the hand of destiny ; swinging between hope ' s light and despair 's dark hole ,;; just end the damn game !!!!

after 18 ;

I dont know why but water stopped  ; I oppened the tap over and over , no single drop .... my stomack is killing me , I cant move properly , I feel dizzy after 4 days with no bite .... the weather is cold ; so cold , as if we were  sitting in the freezer , snow was pourring outside and all we could do was sitting side by side , holding onto the cover ;waiting , waiting .... for whom ? 

I ve told my bro about santa so he can forget the pain , the unbeatable stomach ache , the several stabs by sharp knives, by life ,.....got a question :how I know about santa ? I cant remember properly ... a man came once with my mama , how he looks like ? I have no idea ... all I can recall his gentle smile ,his warmth .... ah that reminds me of cold ,,, it didnt took me too much until I stopped talking ;;; too thirsty ,,,,

if thirst , hunger , cold were men I would have turned into a murder a long time ago ; I would have killed them , slaughtered them ... oh no I would murdered them bit by bit ; bit by bit ..cut them into pieces ; small pieces ; I would have danced above the gates of hell with them together..If they just would have been ...been ... be ......please offer me the chance !

death was approaching ;I can hear his footsteps ;  it was too close oh god please save us ; our will to live ;  our will to survive , to see day- light once more was getting stronger and stronger just like a wild hungry lion ,,,,, u call it hell huh? well I cant garantee thats the exact wold , the fear ?; the doubt if u re going to make it and see tomorrow ?tomorow s clear blessed sky , tomorow s beautiful sun shine ? just tomorow  !!!, how weak and powerless u sense ? the bitter of that miserable death ? the wonder if u re going to die from cold or thirst first ? the sight of ur sibling thin and fading day by day like a burning  candle ; a candle litting with a dull light and about to Extinguish ; a flower bloomed ,a while, then ,before the spring end, it ...oh no please save us !! some body ????any body ..  ?