cake | joshler

cinq.

tyler
we've got all of the ingredients...

I introduced you to my family last year. They liked you a lot. You were so nice and friendly to them. I could tell that you were confused as to why I was introducing you to them. I didn't know why myself.

I remember I brought you with me for Sunday lunch. I hadn't seen my family since Christmas the year before. All my siblings were bringing their significant others as well. I didn't want to be left out. So I brought you with me. I regretted it afterwards. Not because you did anything wrong, Josh. You were perfect. But, it gave me a false sense of security. I knew you were seeing someone else. I was too, kind of.

My mum still asks about you.

"Why don't you bring Josh with you?"
"How's Josh going honey?"
"Why don't I ever see that nice boy anymore? The one with the colourful hair?"
"I don't like this man. Josh was much kinder."

I tell her that it's complicated between us but she doesn't really understand.

"You and Josh would be perfect, Tyler." She always tells me.

"She knows a good person when she sees one, your mum does," My dad told me, chuckling to himself. After that I found myself day dreaming about you more often...

... "Tyler... come cuddle." You groan stretching your arms out toward me. I'm standing in the doorway, holding two cups of coffee. Your smile is brighter than the radiant sun shining through the cracks of my curtains.

You're tangled up in the sheets of my bed, watching me as I walk across the room towards you. I put the coffees down on my bedside table and climb back into bed with you.

Immediately, I'm enveloped into your arms. I breathe in and out, my shoulders relaxing.
"You're so cold." You whisper quietly. I close my eyes and let myself fade into your warmth.
"Tyler. Sing me a song?" You ask.
"What would you like to hear?" I reply.
"Anything. I just want to hear you sing." You place a kiss on my lips, zapping me with energy. I open my mouth to sing a song that we sing in the car together whenever it's on the radio.

when the moon fell in love with the sun
all was golden in the sky
all was golden when the day met the night

You bury your face into my shoulder. I finish the song and you're asleep again.

And then I'm waking up.

...except you loving me.

Josh, please crawl back into my world.

I regret the things I said.

I want you to come back.

I wish you loved me.