Safe Haven (Niall Horan) Book 1~

Chapter 34- letter to Spencer

So this chapter is a letter from her Mum. for her 20th birthday.

the letter was written before she died. It was when she had breast cancer.

 listen to the song on the side>>>>>

it's really sad and heart felt. i enjoyed writing it.

i also cried writing it.

Anyway last chapter is next....

i'm gonnna cry.

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love you

Quote:

"Never regret anthing beacause at one time  it was exactly what you wanted"

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You can be amazing

You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug

You can be the outcast

Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love

Or you can start speaking up

Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do

When they settle ‘neath your skin

Kept on the inside and no sunlight

Sometimes a shadow wins

But I wonder what would happen if you

~

I remember Niall handing me the letter and I instantly noticed the handwriting as my mother’s.

I looked at him and asked him “Will you read it with me?”

“Of course” he said as we sat down on the couch. He put his arm around my shoulders and brought me close.

I opened the letter very carefully and took a sharp intake of breath as I opened the letter.

 My dear Spencer,

You’re probably reading this at your twentieth birthday- just like I told your sister to give it to you.

I can’t believe your 20 years old!! I’m so proud of you. Your growing up.

I miss you a lot; but I just wanted to tell you Happy Birthday my love!

I know I’m not there right now to celebrate it with you. But I’m watching over you. I know you think I’m not there, but I’ am.

I know we kept many secrets, and your father and I regretted not telling you this one. That I have breast cancer; they told me I only had a couple years, months, or even days to live. I was devastated, that I wouldn’t be there and watch you grow up to be a beautiful woman.

I knew that this was coming and didn’t tell you children. I’m dearly sorry, but my dear Spencer I know you are a strong girl and you know how to be mature.

I remember telling you when you were younger- to be brave.

Don’t be afraid of what other people tell you, or what they think of you. Stand up for yourself and be brave.

I know I will be missing the rest of your childhood. I’m gonna miss your first heartbreak, your first kiss, your first date, your graduation of high school and College.

I’m gonna miss your wedding day and the birth of your children.

I hope you make the right choices in life love.

I know you’ll find the right man.

A man who will protect you, care for you, and love you unconditionally. Someone you can call up in the middle of the night and ask them to come over.

Someone who will put up with your crazy father and your weird ways. Like the way you dance when you scramble eggs, or the way you tap the counter when you’re nervous. The way you stutter when you’re lying (You weren’t a good liar in the first place hun).

Just remember this love: People will want to bring you down, but don’t let them. Use them as in inspiration to be better. Show them up. Show them that you are better than them.

You’re a hard worker and I always admired that about you my dear Spence. You never give up on your dreams. You always went the impossible and proved people that the impossible was possible.

Don’t tell any of your sisters or brothers, but you were my favorite. You were my best friend, and my daughter.

I love you a lot dear.

Promise me you’ll take care of Nate. He looks to you as his role model. He follows you. Take care of him. Never leave him alone in the big world- until you know he’s ready.

You’ll know when he’s ready though. I had a hard time watching your sisters grow up. I didn’t want them to grow up and leave the nest.

Make sure he gets good grades, be there for his first date, his first heartbreak. When he graduates high school, and college. Be there when he gets his license. Protect him, in ways your father and I can’t.

I’m writing this as I go in for surgery and I hope for the best. But I can’t promise anything.

You’re a strong and beautiful girl.

I’ll be watching you from above- watch you grow up to the mature and sophisticated woman you’ll become. I know you think I didn’t love you.

But honestly Spencer.

You kids were my pride and joy and I loved that.

I love you.

I didn’t leave without saying good-bye, because that would be rude.

Stay strong my love, I promise you I’ll see you again.

Be brave and stand up for what is right.

Don’t fall and think it’s all over.

Don’t cry over me. I don’t want to be remembered like that.

Think of me as your loving mother and strong.

I wanna see you succeed in this world, become the person you wanted to be.

Chasing after what you wanted.

Be brave my love.

Remember mummy always loves you.

Don’t ever forget that.

With love,

Mum

~~

I just wanna see you be brave

I looked at Niall and he kissed my temple.

"You are probably the bravest person i've ever met. I love you" he murmurmed against my temple.

"I love you too Niall" i said back "So much"

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