Two More Weeks Later...
I was successful in evading Alden so far during my stay for the last month. After that fateful call two weeks ago, I changed my mobile number and demanded (yes, demanded) my mom not to breathe a word of it to ANYONE unless I specifically said so. I threatened to take my kids away from the house and to rent a condo somewhere in Makati or BGC for the rest of our stay if she would once again do what she did before for Alden. It worked, mostly. She still kept on pestering me about the inevitable 'talk' which I really do not want to think about. Honestly, I think they like Alden more than they like me, their only daughter.
I had two weeks left before I go back to the US. To Jake. I still don't know what to feel although he got sweeter and more loving each day even if it was just via calls and texts. Sometimes, I felt like such a bad person because I know that Jake was making an effort for this marriage and I pretty much wasn't.
That morning, I was out on my floor's veranda sipping on my morning coffee, breathing in the cool morning air. It was around 7 in the morning and only Sheila and our other house help were up, preparing for the day. My kids and parents were still knocked out cold. I went down to make myself coffee (I vehemently denied Sheila to make me one, since I wanted to do it by myself - feeling productive) and went back up to my floor just to enjoy the solitude and quietness.
I had a lot of time to think about my current situation with my husband, Jake and my confusion with Alden. I knew that the right thing to do was to try and make things work with my husband - considering that he's my hubby and the father of my children. We're a family. This was what my brain had been shouting ever since I went back home. This should be my reality. This should be my normalcy. This should be my right in the midst of wrong.
But then - my heart was shouting and longing for Alden, this I finally could not deny. I accepted this two weeks ago when I conversed with my mom and was able to briefly converse with Alden (although it was more of a shouting match, really). I felt my heart pitter-patter just hearing the sound of his deep but boyish voice. It brought out a lot of feelings to the surface, feelings that I thought I already buried deep within the confines of my heart and mind. But - (and that's a big but) this wasn't right.
But the heart usually gets what it wants too, correct?
I sighed and closed my eyes. I breathed in deeply and released my breath slowly, relaxing me further. I finished my coffee and was about to go down for a refill when my phone beeped. It was a text message from my husband.
Hey beautiful. Good morning where you are! I hope you're awake and thinking of me. I miss you and I love you, never forget.
I smiled a little at his cheesiness. He was about to head home from work over there since it was around 4:30PM or 5PM already where he was. I didn't bother replying since I knew he was probably driving home or out to happy hour and dinner with his officemates considering it was a Friday. I will reply later on when I know he's home.
He was really trying. I know we both made mistakes in this relationship but he's trying a lot harder than I am to make this marriage work. Did that make me a bad wife already? I contemplated but shook my head at the notion. I was trying as well. The fact that I wasn't talking to Alden anymore and giving him more ammo to confuse my already fragile heart more should be commended, right?
But shouldn't you be able to face him and tell yourself that you aren't feeling anything anymore for him? Shouldn't it be that way? Should you be hiding from him because you're afraid of what you might do once you're face to face? That instead of walking away - you might walk straight to his arms?
BINABASA MO ANG
Is It Fate? (An AlDub Fanfic)
Hayran KurguWe used to be together. We were happy together. We thought we will be each other's forever. But then I went one way, you went another. I thought I lost you for good. But here you are again - in front of me, after all these years... Is it fate...