Runaway (Markiplier X Lindsey Stirling)

Scars and Shame

Trigger Warning: Self Harm

(Mark p.o.v.)
Lindsey: Why?
How am I supposed to explain it? Things are already going to be weird with her. And now...this! This awful thing on my wrist that constantly reminds me and my friends and family of the time I snapped. And whenever I look at it, all I feel is shame and regret. And self hatred. I was weak and worthless.

*flashback sound*

I stood in my bathroom, looking in the mirror. I looked to see a pocket knife on the counter. Just this once.
I picked up the red knife and opened it.
You deserve it.
I held it to my skin, pressing down.
Now you can feel the pain she felt.
I slid the knife across my wrist a little.
When you broke.
I bit my lip. It hurt like hell.
Her fucking.
A little more.
Heart!
I slid it all the way across and dropped the now bloody knife. I looked down at what I had done. My wrist had red smeared across it as blood leaked from the cut. I quickly washed the knife off, putting it back in my pocket, and cleaned and bandaged my wrist. Then, I fell to the floor. I sat there, with my knees against my chest, looking at my bandaged arm.
What is wrong with you?
Do you think she would've wanted this?
Why did you do it?
You're insane!
You've lost it.
You've broken.
You've snapped.
Why did she waste her time on a worthless shithead like you anyways?
Maybe she felt sorry for you.
You're just a weak and broken boy staring at his shame on the floor of his bathroom.
You're-
Before the voices got any louder, I got up and walked out of the bathroom. I walked through the house, and past my brother.
Tom: Where are you going?
Mark: Need to do something. Tell Mom I'll be back by dinner.
He nodded, not taking notice of the bandage or the blood. I walked out of the house and through my neighborhood until I reached where I was walking. The lake. I walked down the path until I reached it. Then I sat the edge, looking at the water. I started crying.
I have to move on.
I have to move on.
I have to move on.
I have to move on.
Tears ran down my face as I pulled out the red pocket knife and held it in my hand. I clenched it in my fist before chucking it into the water. I took a deep breath and let out a sigh.
I.
Was.
Done.

*reality sound*

I was looking Lindsey in the face and broke down right in front of her. I started sobbing as I shook almost violently. I fell into her as she brought her arms around me, pulling me close.
Mark: I-I'm...s-s-sorry...
She rubbed my back as I buried my face in her neck. I didn't care right now. I. Did. Not. Care. I didn't care if we weren't together. I didn't care if she saw me like this. I didn't care. She had one hand on my back while the other one went into my hair, holding my head against her chest. I couldn't get any words out, and neither could she. So we sat there, with me breaking down in her arms as she comforted me.
Why was she even still here?
Why has she stayed?

(Lindsey p.o.v.)
What has he been through while I've been gone? Was it me? Did I do this to him? Did somebody else?
Lindsey: M-Mark...w-what happened?
He didn't answer. He couldn't answer. Every time he tried to speak, he would choke on the words. So I stayed there with him as he sobbed and trembled in my arms. After a while, he began to calm down a bit. Not all the way, but enough to where he could speak again without choking on tears. I held his head up against me as he was practically laying in my arms and lap, curled up into a ball, protecting himself from everything else. I had calmed down too. Now I just gently rocked back and forth as I looked down at him. He was staring at my hand, which was rested in front of his face. I gently caressed his cheek as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was calm.

(Mark p.o.v.)
She would never see it. She would never see that she was the only one capable of bringing me back to reality. My friends and family have been trying for a year now and have been unsuccessful in doing so. But yet she's able to come here, watch me completely crack and break down, and then somehow able to pick up my pieces and put them back together again. Her thumb rubbed against my cheek as my eyes fluttered shut and I almost felt like I was drifting away. But at the same time, I felt anchored back down. Then, I heard her speak so quietly, she was almost whispering.
Lindsey: Do you want to talk about it?
I slowly nod as I open my eyes and sit up in front of her, our knees slightly touching. Then she took hold of my arm and turned it to expose the scar. She ran her fingers along it as tears formed in her eyes. Then she looked up at me and spoke in the same soft tone.
Lindsey: What happened, Mark?
I took a deep breath before speaking.
I was ready.
Mark: The first few months here were hard. It was difficult not having you there. People tried to help but they just couldn't. Because they weren't the thing that I needed most. I needed you. And one day, it all just came crashing down on top of me. I snapped. And then...THIS happened.
Before I could say anything else, she pulled me into a hug. Her head was rested against my shoulder as she whispered to me.
Lindsey: I'm sorry.
Mark: No, I'm sorry. You didn't do anything wrong.
Lindsey: I ran away.
Mark: So did I.

A/N: So, I hope this didn't completely suck. If it did, I'm sorry. I tried. Also, I'm just going to flat out say it, don't cut. Or self harm in general. It doesn't solve any problems, it just creates new ones. I tried to incorporate that in here but thought it wasn't quite as clear as it should've been so I'm saying it now. Also, I've been really working on my one shots book and I still have a few that I need to touch up and then post (I had a little writing spree). So if you checked it out, it would be greatly appreciated. Now I hope you all continue living happy and somewhat weird lives (what fun is it if it's not a little weird ;p). Until next time...