Runaway (Markiplier X Lindsey Stirling)

Desperation

(Lindsey p.o.v.)
Never had I realized exactly how much I missed him. Before was different, because now he was right there, but out of my grasp. Not for lack of trying, but rather because he didn't want to be in my reach, he was untouchable to me. But nonetheless, I was determined to get him back, even if it meant reaching beyond my limits. I know what I'll do.

He had walked back to his room early that evening, and after his family had all turned in, I walked quietly into the room. He was confused at first, but then I made my intents clear. I kissed him, and he kissed me back. This felt so wrong, but I couldn't think of another way to bring him back. I was desperate. Things escalated until I didn't know what I was Doug anymore, and looking at his facial expression, he didn't either. We were both hopelessly falling until we would hit rock bottom.

I woke up in the middle of the night to see him lying next to me, but facing the other direction.
I couldn't do it.
I gently kisses his back once before grabbing my clothes and getting dressed. I pulled out some paper and pen and wrote a note for Mark, leaving it on his desk. Then I grabbed my bags, put on my hoodie and shoes, and quietly left the house.

As I walked down the dark and empty streets of Cincinnati, my head was spinning like a top. I didn't know how to feel anymore. At first, I didn't want anything to happen at all, and then all I wanted was him, and what I did to get him...ugh...what did I do? I couldn't go back. I couldn't do that to him. I manipulated him into accepting me and feel terrible about it. Now I wouldn't be able to face him without hanging my head. I was ashamed. Driven crazy by...whatever this is? If it's love, then I don't want it. I don't want to love him, but I do. I guess love is crazy enough to drive you to do things you would never do otherwise. Never had I slept with someone out of desperation for love and acceptance. But I had tonight.

I kept walking until I reached my destination: the hotel. I called Drew and Gavi and they said they would come down in a few minutes, since it was well into the AM's. I waited in the lobby with my bags and sure enough, they came down within 5 minutes. They sat beside me and asked why I was there, instead of at my friend's house like I had said I would be. At that point, I broke down and started sobbing. Drew wrapped his arm around me from the side as Gavi crouched in front of me and asked me what happened. And I told them everything.
I told them who I had been staying with, and all that had happened before with him. The reason why I had been staying in Arizona with my family for the past year and cut contact with people in L.A. How he had stayed with his own family in Cincinnati, and had let me stay with them. I told them about his cut, and the morning I saw it. And how the next few days, he had put his walls back up, and what I did to try to break them down again. They both gasped when I told them about tonight.
Gavi: B-But...you never do that.
Lindsey: I know, I just...I didn't know what to do. God, I'm such an idiot.
He put his hand on my shoulder.
Gavi: No, you're not.
Drew: Hey, who is this guy anyways?
I spoke so softly, you almost couldn't hear.
Lindsey: Mark.
Drew: Okay, well, you can sleep in our room tonight and we'll work it out in the morning. Okay?
I was too tired to argue so I just nodded as Drew grabbed my bags and Gavi lead me up to their room. I got situated and drifted off to sleep not long after they left.

(Drew p.o.v.)
Gavi: He doesn't sound like a bad guy.
Drew: I know, but I still want to talk things over with the guy.
Gavi: You know what, fine. Just don't do anything stupid. I got the address.
He handed me a piece of paper and I nodded before heading out of the hotel. I got in our rental car and drove to the address. When I reached it, I saw a house, not too big, not too small. I went to the door and knocked. After a few knocks, a small Korean woman answered.
XX: Hello? Can I help you?
Drew: Hi, do you have a man named Mark here?
XX: Yes, he's my son.
Drew: Oh, well my friend was staying here for a little while...
XX: Oh, Lindsey?
Drew: Yes. Lindsey. Well, I was wondering if I could talk to him.
XX: Oh, well he's probably sleeping. It's 2:30.
Drew: I know, I'm sorry for coming at such a bad time. It's just that it's really important.
XX: Okay, I'll wake him up. You can wait in here.
She then led me to what seemed to be a dining room, before going to where the bedrooms were. She came back about 5 minutes later, but with her came a man, probably a few inches from 6 feet tall, with messy red and black hair and scruffy stubble on his face. He seemed tired and was in his pajamas. But he seemed somewhat alert and even a little concerned. He wasn't anything like I imagined. I imagined a big, tall looking guy, sort of your stereotypical douchebag asshole type. But he wasn't anything like that. He nodded at the woman who then walked off and he sat down at the table as I did the same.
Drew: Are you Mark.
Mark: Yeah. I heard this is about Lindsey. You're one of her friends.
Drew: Yea-
Mark: Oh my god...I didn't even know she was gone. I can't imagine what she's thinking. I'm so sorry...I didn't mean for it to happen...I-I...I...
He was so worked up, it was a sad sight. When I looked at him, I saw a poor, broken hearted man.
Drew: Hey, hey, it's okay. It happens.
Mark: You don't understand...you don't understand. I shouldn't have done it.
Drew: Dude, I know it sucks. But if it's any consolation, she doesn't blame you. Nobody does.
Mark: Then who does she blame?
I sighed.
Drew: She blamed herself.
I saw tears well up in his eyes as he put his face in his hands and started shaking.
Mark: I-I...I did it again...
Drew: Did what?
He looked up at me gravely as a tear ran down his cheek.
Mark: I hurt her.
He sighed.
Mark: You know, I didn't want to leave her. But she couldn't stay with me. She deserves someone better than a guy who repeatedly hurts her over and over again. She deserves better than me.
Drew: Look, you seem like a decent guy. And, as a friend of Lindsey's, I will tell you, she deserves a guy who would put himself through the shitter as long as it meant he kept her happy and safe. Someone like you.
He didn't respond, instead he seemed shocked by my words. I felt sympathy towards this man, because it must take a lot of self-hatred to not be able to believe that there's any good in you. And I could tell, just from talking to him and what Lindsey had said, that he was a good person. He went through heartbreak because he didn't want to hurt her, and while the idea is stupid, it's sweet.
Drew: Do you believe me?
His head was tilted downwards slightly, but he looked up at me, meeting my eyes, before looking back down and shaking his head.
Mark: No, I don't. But I appreciate it. It means a lot.
Drew: Look, if you're willing to sacrifice all of it if it meant she was safe and happy, that means there's a lot of good in you, Mark. You just don't see it. But everyone else does. I know I see it, and she sees it too.
I sighed before continuing.
Drew: Look, please, try to believe me. If not for yourself, then for her. Because she cares about you more than you know, because she sees your heart for what it is. Okay? Now I have to go, but I can come back tomorrow if you'd like.
He just looked at me and nodded. I nodded back at him.
Drew: Okay. Well, bye Mark.
I got up, turned, and started walking away when he spoke.
Mark: Hey, thank you. Really. And, please, tell Lindsey that she can come back. We can work it out.
Drew: Will do.
Then I left the house.

(Mark p.o.v.)
No more running. You're going to be there. For her. You're going to try to love her and yourself again. This has to stop. Now.

It will.

A/N: So, hopefully this cleared up some of the confusion from last chapter as far as Lindsey's actions go. If not, let me know, I'd be happy to either explain or rewrite it if it really doesn't help anything. Also, yes, I put Wrecking Ball as the song. Because despite the whole thing with the video and all, it's a good song. And it's kind of related (it's the nest one I could find). So anyways, next chapter will be interesting. Until next time...