Salim and Kayal #Watty's 2016 # YourStoryIndia #ProjectWomanUp

Playboy??? Not gonna work

Kayal's POV

I could see Harneet waiting outside the library. Sara and John might still be in the school. I went near him and spoke to him. "So, have you convinced Jaanu?"

"She hasn't come outside yet."

By now Salim also came near us. I told Harneet, "In that case don't worry too much. I will handle her. You better go for some sightseeing. There is a monastery in the end of this road."

"I don't think I can get peace right now in a Monastery. I was just thinking about women, relationships, marriage etc. Everything is so confusing Kayal. I always thought women can be managed with flowers and chocolates. Today when Jaanu asked me whether it is okay to slap me and buy me lunch, my self- respect got hurt. At the same time, I can't deny the fairness in her question. How to live with women? How to handle them when they are angry? How to make them happy? My Father is a Military Officer, he is rarely home. Even when he is home, I have hardly seen any interaction between my parents. My Mother would be busy with household work and my Father would be spending time with us or his friends or relatives. My parents may be talking in private at night. But, today I feel as if I am clueless about marriage."

I looked around the library, "Harneet, there is no Bodhi tree here (Buddha got enlightened while sitting under a Bodhi tree). How is it that you are getting such life enlightening questions out of your mind?"

He sounded irritated, "I am serious Kayal."

"Okay, I am now serious. First tell me, why do you need a woman in your life? Why do you want to marry a woman?"

"Well, I have always worried that my mother has to shoulder a lot of household work as well as farm work. I need a woman who can help my mother. We are just two boys in our family. My Mother always yearned for a daughter. So my wife should be a daughter of the family and help my mother. Then, of course I need a wife to build on our family. I need a wife who can take care of me, when I return home tired after my office. Somebody whose priority should be me and my family."

"Harneet, you don't need a wife. You need a servant maid for your family."

Sara was behind me now. She said, "Kayal, be practical. Servant maids don't come with sexual benefits. And of course, you have to pay the servant maid, whereas wife comes with a dowry."

Harneet said, "Hey, it's not like that."

I said, "Harneet, tell me, what sort of husband you will be? You told us your expectations from a wife. Now tell me what will you do for your wife?"

Salim and John were also listening intently to our conversation. Harneet said, "I will provide for her. I don't prefer a working woman. I will give her a roof above her head, food, clothing etc. Whenever possible I will take her out to Cinemas and Restaurants etc."

"You are not doing a big service to your wife by providing for her. First of all, she is paying a huge dowry for you. So, naturally you have to provide for her. Even otherwise, you are limiting yourself to the role of an ATM Harneet. You are degrading yourself. A man is capable of much more than that."

Sara said, "Not even once you said, that you need a woman to love and cherish. You never said that you need a wife to share your happiness, pain and fears. You are thinking that taking her to restaurant and cinema will make her happy. But that is your idea of happiness. She may have other things which would make her happy. And yes, you should not look at her as a machine to produce babies."

He was looking like a lost child. I continued, "The most basic things that a woman needs from a husband is respect, trust and love. If you can give her all these things from the bottom of your heart and if you strive to earn her trust, respect and love then your marriage will be really successful. Don't think that materialistic things are enough to make a woman happy. They help in giving some temporary smile. But what matters most is the intention behind it. The toughest part in marriage is that you should work on your marriage 24X7 without a coffee break or tea break. You have to make your wife as your equal partner. You should respect her just the same way you expect to be treated by her. Your wife should be the one person with whom you have to throw your ego out of the window. You just have to be yourself with her, honest and sincere without any masks. You should also let her be herself around you, assuring her that you wouldn't judge her for being her own self."