The (After) Life Of The Party...

Possible Escape From Reality.

I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known?
I traced the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone - Blink 182, Adam's Song.

"Are you hungry sweetie?" I nodded. It must have been three days now since I ate a meal that didn't consist of my own blood and vomit. Brendon set a dog bowl down on my lap and I bent down and stuck my face in. The food is just breadcrumbs but I didn't  care. I just wanted something to make my stomach shut the fuck up. I sucked the dry staleness of the crumbs into my mouth and tried to chew slowly.

After I was done, he changed the bowls and I found that in this one there was water. It was only after I'd drank halfway that I realised that there was all sorts of insects and dirt in it. The water was a yellowed colour. I hated myself for doing this, my body hated me, I wanted to sick it back up. However, if I wanted to stay alive I had to take what was available.

"Brendon?" I whisper, my voice hoarse.
"Yes Petey?"
I swallow my fears. He waits expectantly.
"Why did you do all this?"

A long silence passes before he said, looking me dead in the eyes, "because they have the band I don't."

Later he came back and told me that he needs to kill me.
"Why?"
"Because I can't have you messing up my plans of course!"
I widened my eyes in fear.
"I have to make sure no band can ever beat me as a solo artist. But hey, I will do it slowly! By making it look like you killed yourself."

If he hurt me again I don't think I could bare it. I hate him. I want to leave. Now. I hate him I hate him I hate him.

There was a knife. It glinted evilly as he pulled it out of his pocket. This wasn't happening. He smiled. "Now hold still..." He rolled my sleeve up. I tried to move my arm away but I couldn't. It's tied down tight to the chair. I panicked.
"Hush..."

The knife was dragged deep across my wrist. I screamed. Then, 5 seconds later the blood flowed through like a crimson ribbon. It stung like crazy and I hissed in pain. He isn't done there though. Brendon pulled the instrument across again and again. In anger and pain I screamed out, "Just kill me already!" I hated him even more when he stopped.
"Now, why would I want to do that when we are having so much fun?"

I didn't have anything to live for anymore. My fans and others weren't bothered to find me, my best friend was dead, and the cuts... I never believed in God, but if he existed, I wished at that moment, that he could end my suffering in some way, somehow instead of enduring what seemed like an eternal pain.