Trust Me. I'm Lying - (SLOWLY EDITING)

Or About To Break: Chapter 34

"Words that come from the heart are never spoken, they get caught in the throat and can only be read in one's eyes."

—José Saramago.

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CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR:

Or About To Break.

"So you're okay?" Erick asked through the phone. I closed my eyes for a moment, mulling this over. I could almost imagine him, strolling through campus, holding the phone to his ear with one hand and the other holding the strap of his bag, as he always did when he was in high school.

I sighed through my nose, fighting the urge my right eye got each time someone had asked me if I was okay for the past two weeks. I didn't even like the phrase are you okay? regularly, and now it had been used excessively in a time when I was most definitely not okay at all. I wished my brother was next to me so I could glare at him.

"I wouldn't define it as 'okay', at the moment, Erick," I told him, unplugging the phone from the charger and rolling to my left side while on my bed. I checked the time; it was 8:47 AM and I didn't have the first period World History. Something had bitten my teacher when he was coming into work, had gotten all swollen and red, and the school didn't have time to find a good substitute. It was cold today, and I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed all day. I sighed. "Did she tell you?" I questioned.

"What?" he seemed distracted, catching on a couple of seconds after he was supposed to. "Oh, I don't know. The fact that she was yelling hysterically out of fear or anger directed towards you kind of made her tell me the reasons." He paused. "Did you just run away?"

"I didn't 'run away', in a manner of speaking," I contradicted. It was true— in my head, at the very least. "I told mom two seconds before I walked out the door that I was walking out the door. So it technically doesn't count."

"And Christina's mom was okay with you sleeping on their house while you were a runaway?" Erick asked.

I felt something twist in my stomach. This had been happening a lot lately; every time Mom called me or I saw Mr. Langley at school. It was the memories, of tears and accelerated breathing and little sleep. I closed my eyes again, thanking God Erick wasn't next to me so he wouldn't see my face. "Erick? I didn't sleep at Christina's."

There was a slight pause. The change in his breathing reflected he had probably stopped walking. When he spoke again, his tone was completely different. "You slept in Carson's house."

It wasn't a question. I was more or less holding my breath, waiting for him to hung up on me so he could call Mom. I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling. "I needed peace." I paused too, and when I spoke again I lowered my voice in case Mom was eavesdropping. "He made me a fort, big bro. Like when we were little. Remember?"

I guess he began to walk again. "Yeah," he sighed. "Did you—?"

I groaned aloud. "Why do you have to ask that? No, Erick, I think sex was out of the question with everything that was going on."

Erick laughed once; perhaps out of relief or even a little happiness. Maybe both. "I'm just glad everything's cooling down. How's Mom doing?"

"Oh, you know," I huffed. "She's trying. In her Mom way. We haven't talked much, but she's going back to normal. Yesterday she wished me a good day."

My brother snorted. "Her Mom way," he echoed. Erick was quiet for a couple of minutes after that, and I started thinking he had forgotten to end the call when he said something else. "I have to tell you something—"