Knocker

"You be good now, y'hear?"

"Yes, Ma."

"Don't wake up Rodger now, 'kay?"

"Okay."

"If he wakes up, just give him somethin' to munch on."

"Yes, Ma."

"I'll be back when the clock says 4."

"Okay."

"Can you tell me what the clock says now?"

"It says 11 something."

"Good."

"Bye-bye, Ma."

"Bye, love."

Ma leaves and the door goes slam! It's all quiet for a minute, but then I look down at Knocker–he's my teddy–and he smiles at me with his button eyes. I smile at him, too, but with my big, bright blue human eyes. Teddybears and humans have different eyes to see different things. When I ask Knocker what he sees, he says he sees the truth. I wonder what that means, but sometimes wondering stuff hurts my head, so I stop.

Knocker asks where Rodger is. Rodger is my little brother who is only 2, so he doesn't know a lot and that means I get to teach him things so that he can learn faster. Knocker asks where Rodger is again.

"He's sleepin'." I tell him.

Knocker says let's go see him.

"Ma said not to wake him up."

Knocker tells me that sometimes grown-ups say to not do something, but really they won't mind if you do it because kids need to grow up and disobey their parents at some point. Knocker says that if kids don't disobey their parents once in a while, then they aren't growing up right. I am not really sure, but I say okay.

Sometimes, Knocker gets mad, just like everyone does from time to time, he says. Knocker tells me never to doubt or question anything he tells me, so I don't and he's happy and that's the way I like it.

The door to Rodger's room is closed, and a closed door means it shouldn't be opened, but Knocker tells me that sometimes a closed door is just a suggestion to not open it, but by opening it, you can find something good, and then you are happy that you opened the door in the first place. I am still not sure, but Knocker says to open it so I do.

It smells like Rodger in Rodger's room. Baby powder and farts, yuck. Ma says she doesn't smell farts, but I do. Knocker says that I smell better than Ma.

There are toy trains on the floor and blocks and play food. On the shelves on the wall there are other stuffed animals sort of like Knocker, but not really. They are like Knocker because they are stuffed animals and they talk, but they are not like him because they don't say things like Knocker does. When I walk into the room, they all look at me, some with button eyes, others with eyes made of thread. There is a blue elephant and an orange giraffe, a green snake and a yellow bunny. There is also a teddybear, but he is not brown and humble like Knocker. Knocker is nice and he cares for me, but the other teddybear is selfish and stupid–that's what Knocker says. The other teddybear is grey, and he has white button eyes and a darker grey nose that is made of string, and he is called Holmer. Knocker and Holmer don't get along...at all. They are like Tom and Jerry, or cat and dog. 

Holmer says that Knocker should stop bossing me around. Knocker says that Holmer's just jealous of our friendship. Holmer jumps down from the shelf and stands in front of us. He asks what we're doing here, and Knocker tells him that we came for a little visit and that's all.

Holmer doesn't like me with Knocker. I don't think he's jealous, but if he's not, then why doesn't he like us together?

Holmer says that I should leave, and he reminds me what Ma said. I don't know how he heard Ma say that to me before she left for work, but I don't say nothin'.

Knocker looks up at me and says to put him down, so I do and he walks over to Holmer. He is clumsy in the way he walks, almost like a baby human, but he is not a baby. Holmer has a face that's all scrunched up and that means he's mad.

They start to fight and I say please stop. Holmer stops and looks up at me sadly, like I am Ma and I just told him he can't have dessert. Knocker doesn't stop, though, and grabs Holmer's arm and pulls and pulls and pulls! Holmer's arm comes right off and there is stuffing everywhere! Holmer is yelling and screaming! Knocker looks up at me and he looks a little mad.I yell at Knocker to stop because now he's pulling out Holmer's stuffing! Knocker looks up at me and he looks a little mad. Now Rodger is crying because I yelled and he maybe thinks I yelled at him. Or maybe he scared or maybe sad. Babies are weird and stupid. They don't understand a lot.

Holmer is really sad and scared, and he crawls away under Rodger's bed, but his bed is more like a cage. Knocker looks at me and says how about we calm down Rodger, but I don't like Rodger because now he is really loud and my head is hurting and making a sound like a drum but it isn't very loud, just in my head but I can hear it a little. I tell Knocker that I don't want to go see Rodger but he says I have to so I do.

Rodger has a pink face and 12 tiny teeth that I counted a few days ago. He is crying and screaming and his eyes are shut and his nose is drooling. After a few seconds, he opens his eyes and looks up at me, still making a little bit of noise but not as much as before. His eyes are blue like mine, but his are bigger and mine are better, but Knocker says that his own button-eyes are even better. I can see Rodger's tummy go up and down, up and down. When Knocker asks to see Rodger, I lift him up so that he can see. When Rodger sees Knocker, he cries and screams again but this time louder, and it hurts my ears. Knocker says that he thinks Rodger is cute, but I say that I don't think so. I say that I think he is ugly with his tiny teeth and big eyes and leaking nose. Knocker laughs. Knocker says that Rodger is very loud, and I agree. Knocker suggests that we block his mouth so he stops screaming, but I tell him the I don't really want to touch his face. Knocker says that's okay, just use the pillow, so I do.