Not What I Had in Mind (Chat Noir x reader)

wHEN A CAT AND PUN LOVER MEET WHEN THE AUTHOR REFUSES TO SLEEP EVEN AT 4 AM

//hAVE FUN READING THIS

  "Doot doot doot do doot doot doot do JAEGER!"
"(Y/n) go to sleep!" My mom grumbled from her room. I huffed and turned off my t.v. I laid down on my bed.
It was pretty silent and I didn't feel like sleeping. I could read but nah. I really need to get back on reading. Maybe start reading Uglies or even finish Allegiant before the movie comes out. Or maybe Too Soon for Jeff or the Percy Jackson series. God I have too many books I need to start and finish.
"The best novel is Sherlock Bones." I giggled to myself. Time for more anatomy puns.I did say I had a tendoncy to make them.
A knocking sound from my balcony. It could only be one person. I got up and tiptoed over clothes and shoes. "Knock, knock." he said. I rolled my eyes.
"Who's there?"
"Mew."
"Mew, who?"
"Mew should let me in."
I laughed. Curse this joke. I let him in. He step inside. Oh shit I forgot to clean. My room was messy, there was plates and cups, even old hot pocket things and Snicker wrappers. Oh well.
I went over to my bed and sat on it, patting my bed to get Noir to sit. He went over, almost tripping on my new Chespin. I had recently had to use him like a puppet when Grayson wouldn't calm the fuck down. Chespin cares. Chespin loves. Chespin inquires that you need to call the hell down and just wait for her to respond to your texts.
Noir sat down next to me giving a side hug. "So what brings you to my humble abode?" I asked him, returning the side hug.
"Just wanted to see how my favorite civilian is doing."
"Well I'm doing meh. Mom told me to chill with the anime and my friends won't explain things to me so. Eh."
"Well you can rant to me. Daddy Noir is here to listen."
"Did you just-"
"Did I just what?"
"Did you just call yourself "Daddy"?"
"...Yeah?"
I couldn't hold in my laughter. I hunched over and clutched my sides, the laughter shaking my body.
"I-I don't see what's so funny!"
"Y-You innocent b-bean!" I laughed. I hunched over some more and fell off my bed. A loud thud followed afterwards. I kept laughing and laughing. My parents are gonna find me laughing on the ground with a dude in a leather cat suit. PERFECTLY NORMAL TEENAGE BEHAVIOR.
He got down and covered my mouth. "You're gonna wake up your parents!" he hissed. I tried calming down and it worked kinda. After 5 minutes, I had successfully calmed down but giggles broke it.
"Okay I'm calm...Daddy." I snorted.
He looked at me confused, "I still don't get what's funny."
"You innocent bean, I must not poison you."
"Just tell me."
"Well on the inter-webs, well the word "daddy" is a whole lot different than a father figure." I chuckled.
"I- what?"
"Shhhhuussh, a shush, a shush shush, shuuuuush."
"Well I better be a father figure for I fear what the other kind is."
"Trust me, you don't wanna know, Daddy."
"Stop calling me that!"
I laughed and rang the bell that hung around his neck. "Make me." I winked.
It was hard to tell in the lighting but he blushed. "(Y/n) you should go to sleep."
"Nah, you cat loser."
"I'm not a loser."
"Yes you are, but you're my loser!" I sat up and hugged him, nuzzling into his chest. He let out a sigh and picked me up. He placed me on my bed and tried to pry me off of him but to no avail.
"Please tell me you're not on drugs."
"I'M HIGH OFF LOVE, BABY." He covered my mouth again. I stared at him and put my middle finger up in the air.
"Really?"
I let out a muffled laugh and took his hand off of my mouth, "Hey Noir, do you know what kind of painting you would be?"
"....What?" He asked cautiously.
"A meowsterpeice! Aka, a painting I would love to nail up against the wall." I winked.
".... Didn't you reject me eariler for Adrien though?"
I propped myself up on my elbows, "That doesn't mean I don't like you. I still find you super freaking attractive and would definitely bang you but also eat pizza and watch old cartoons with ya feel me?"
"It seems more like you want to feel me."
"Oh my god."
He winked then laughed, "I'll have to talk to you later, (Y/n), energy is depleting." He kissed my forehead, " Au Revoir!" and with that he left my room.
I laid down. How funny, the guy who strangled me not to long ago kissed my forehead. BUT YOU KNOW WHO ELSE KISSED MY FOREHEAD?
ADRIEN AGRESTE.
Time to make conspiracy theories at 4:20 am #blazeitlikeSnoopy. I got my laptop that was still on Netflix(yooooo Your Lie in April is on there sweet not I won't have to use goddamn Crunchy Roll) and hopped onto the next slide over which was this Annie Leonhardt x Berthodlt fanfic. Cute as fuuuuck. Got that major hieght difference and clashing personatlites. I ship. Goood shit right there right there. MMMmmMm GOoD ShiT iF I Do SaY So MYsELF.
I don't know how but instead of writing a conspiracy theory, I wrote an entire page of Chat Noir x Adrien Agreste smut. I don't even know. Why must I ship real people who might be the same person? I really should get some sleep.