Hold My Hand

14

*VANESSA*

I spent the day shopping for furniture and decorations for my room and then painted the kitchen with my mom. I thought about Juwany a little, but more so...Cat. She must hate me for not giving her a heads up that I was leaving. I think we were becoming real friends. And...friends tell each other things, but I didn't tell her I wanted to leave.

I lied to myself and said I didn't wanna tell her because we weren't close enough. But in reality, I avoided telling her because I didn't wanna be talked out of going home; and Cat is very persuasive.

I took a shower to scrub all the paint off me and when I took my phone off the charger I had a billion notifications from Juwany; including calls, voicemails, and texts.

~ sorry I didn't answer. I was helping my mom paint the kitchen. (11:57pm)

- Facetime me please? (11:59pm)

I called him on Facetime and about 3 seconds later, he appeared on my screen.

"I'm sorry Vanessa." Was the first thing he said. "I was pissed and not thinking straight and I'm so sorry I lashed out at you. I WANT our friendship back, I really do."

I imagined him yelling at me again and my eyes watered. "You don't have to apologize. What you said was true. I don't know you anymore Geo."

To say Geo felt so wrong, but that's who he is now right?

"We can get to know each other." He replied. "All over again, we can start from the very beginning."

"Uh, you're a little busy." I said.

"A little. But I'll make time. How about we factime every day for an hour and get to know each other?"

"Geo...Juwany. You don't have to do this for me. I know things will never be the same."

"I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for US. Please Nessa."

Nessa. I felt butterflies in my stomach.

I shrugged "We can try it I guess."

He smiled, showing his teeth and nodded his head. "Good."

"Who ya talkin' too?" Cat asked. Sitting next to Juwany on the airport floor.

He tilted the phone so Cat could see me and she immediately shook her head and stood up. "Have fun with that."

Before I could ask Juwany to give Cat the phone, an announcement came on over the airport's intercome and he frowned.

I sighed. "You have to go?"

"Yeah sorry. We'll talk tomorrow, ok?"

"Sure." I was gonna end the call, but I stopped myself. "Wait! Juwany will you please tell Cat that I'm sorry?"

"Of course."

"Like really sorry." I added.

"Vanessa, I'll talk to her. It's my fault that you left to begin with. Goodight."

"Goodnight."

The call ended and all I could do was imagine Cat hating me forever. Being on tour together was fun and I wonder how she'll get by without having girl time every now and again. If she never wants to talk to me...I understand.

I tossed and turned for at least 2 hours and when I woke up I felt sad. It lead me to look through all the photos I had of my dad and to reflect on how much I missed him. He'd know just what to say to make me feel better, but he's gone.