Hold My Hand

42

*VANESSA*

I'm happy to say that Juwany and I are doing really good. I still miss him when he's gone, but I try to focus on school and dance, something Cat and I got into so that I could be distracted from thinking about Juwany.

"You're coming to the show tomorrow night right?" I asked Juwany.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world babe. I'll be there."

"Good. It's gonna be our biggest show yet! The auditorium is supposed to be full!"

He smiled at me. "I can't wait!"

I finished eating my fries and we cleared off our trays and walked out of McDonald's

"So where to next babe?" Juwany asked me.

"Um. Home?"

"Home!? It is 3 in the afternoon on a Saturday! We aren't going home!"

I got into the car laughing and buckled up. "Then where should we go?"

"I got it! The mall!"

I shook my head. "No. Hell no. I'm never EVER going to the mall with you again."

He frowned. "Why?"

"Because you never let me pay for MY stuff."

He laughed and pulled out of the McDonald's parking lot. "So what? I can pay for you."

"I know that Juwany. You're making your own money, I get it. But we aren't married. That money is YOURS not OURS."

He turned on his left blinker and prepared to turn.

Without moving his eyes off the road, he spoke again. "Would you ever marry me?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Do you want kids?"

He nodded. "Yes. Do you?"

"Mhmm." I replied. "I want two. I don't care about what gender."

Juwany laughed. "Well I want 4, all boys."

"Ha! Yeah right, four kids! AND all boys? Hell no." I laughed. "You're crazy."

He looked over at me for just a second and smiled.

"I want at least two." He decided. "I can do two."

I hesitated, afraid I may not like the answer to my question...but I asked anyway. "Would you want them with me?"

"Yeah." He nodded his head. " I think we'd make cute babies."

"Wany I'm serious. I mean obviously no time soon, but could you see yourself marrying me and having a family?"

He looked out at the road, but I could tell he was thinking about his answer.

"Yeah. I can see that."

"Cool." I blushed and looked out the window to avoid his eyes.

"Cool." He said back.

There's something about Juwany....something I can't put my finger on, but I love him and can't imagine ever not loving him. We're too young to seriously talk about our future as a couple, BUT it's still nice to know that he's thought about it once or twice too.

POMS has gotten so much bigger and tours are longer nowadays, but it makes him happy, so it makes me happy too. I only want what is best for Juwany, even if one day I'm no longer what is best for him.

I rolled my eyes when we pulled into the mall parking lot. Damn it. Not again.

"Juwany, I am paying for my own things." I said firmly.

"Yeah. You are." He winked at me and I knew he was lying.

"Ugh." I groaned.

"You'll live." He chuckled. "Lets go."