Hold My Hand

35

*GEO*

I held Vanessa's hand as we walked back out to the car.

"So what did you and your best friend talk about?" She asked, already laughing.

"How much I wanted her to go away. She's so annoying." I sighed. "You'd think after not speaking for months she'd give up."

Now I was uncomfortable. "So...she hasn't given up?" She asked.

I held the door open for her and we got in the car.

"She's making herself look like an idiot. Chasing after someone who doesn't wanna be chased."

I turned around, backing up as much as I could without hitting the Jeep behind us, and turned the wheel so we could pull away from the curb.

Vanessa was quiet for a second, and I wondered what she was thinking. We stopped at a red light and I found out.

"Juwany." She said.

"Yeah babe?"

I left one hand on the wheel, and used the other to hold one of hers.

"If we weren't together...would you be with Taylor?"

"Nope." I answered quickly with no hesitation. "I can never forgive her for what she did. If we weren't together I would be single and thinking that there are no good girls left in the world. I still can't believe I found you."

I leaned over the middle console and kissed her cheek, just as the light turned green. We stopped at McDonald's to pick up some chocolate chip cookies and then headed back to her house.

Lately I keep thinking about one word: Love and I'm scared to say it because...what if she doesn't feel the same way? What if I say it and scare her off? I'll just wait a bit longer.

I wrapped my arm around Vanessa as we sat on the couch eating the fresh cookies.

"Juwany do you wanna sleep over next weekend?" She asked me.

I swallowed the piece of cookie in my mouth and nodded. "Yeah, sure."

"Ok." She smiled and took another bite of her cookie, that was the end of the conversation.

She laughed at the Spongebob episode on TV while I was internally freaking out. We'll be sleeping in the same bed for the first time and I don't wanna mess anything up.

Is she ok with cuddling or does she want no immediate contact? Is kissing inappropriate in that setting? Should I bring my own quilt and pillow?

Gosh. I've never ever liked a girl this much. I feel like every new experience is a chance for me to mess things up...and I don't wanna lose her. I CAN'T.