The Impeccable Infinity

Chapter 23

One of the worst parts about fainting is waking up and having no idea where you are, what exactly happened, and how you're supposed to act and handle the situation. When I woke up this morning, my head was against Mute's arm and his head laid on top of mine. I carefully moved away and placed his head on his shoulder, but that didn't stop him from waking up.

"Oh, you're awake," he said with his voice groggy.

I smiled and nodded, moving around on the couch so I could sit on my shins and face him as he rubbed his eyes and yawned.

"How did I get here?" I asked.

"Well, there was the whole party situation, and so I brought you home and put you on the couch. Ruth said she would make an exception and let me stay down here with you as long as it's only to take care of you."

"Wait, so we stayed down here all night?"

"Yea, you haven't woken up since yesterday and I've been waking up and checking in on you every hour. I cleaned the makeup off your face with a washcloth and I put an icepack on your head because you had a fever. I couldn't give you medicine because you were asleep."

"What about my dress?" I asked, now looking down at the baggy clothes hanging loosely on my body.

"I let you borrow one of my tee shirts and some sweatpants so it would be baggier and more comfortable for you. I gave them to Riley and she dressed you in them so you wouldn't feel weird about it."

I blushed and smiled as I thought about how proper and thoughtful Mute could be. Although he's been acting selfish lately, respecting me like that is something that guys from my old life would never do.

"What happened to me though?" I asked, brushing my hair back with my hand.

"I think you had a bad panic attack and fainted. It's okay, it happens to all of us. I'm just glad you called me so I could get you," he whispered the last part quietly to himself and smiled while looking down at his hands. Pieces of hair fell over his eyes as his head moved.

"Thank you," I said, leaning back against the couch and feeling a headache coming on. I don't know how a panic attack triggered a fever and headache, but somehow it did.

"I'm going to go get you some medicine and water. Do you want anything else?"

I shook my head and thanked Mute while I watched him walk away into the other room.

Maybe I do need Mute. Since the accident I've found it hard to trust people, but maybe putting my heart on the line and letting people in is the best thing for me.

I groaned and my head thumped harder in pain the more I tried to piece together whether or not I should be mad at Mute. But with how he's been treating me in the past few hours, he's winning me over.

"Here," he said, handing me two small pills and a glass of water. I tipped my hand back against my mouth and swallowed the pills down with water, feeling the pressure in my head begin to ease with just the thought of the pills killing the pain.

"Thanks," I whispered, taking another sip of water.

"No problem," he said, suddenly looking nervous as he stared across the room.

"Look Haley, I know it's probably not the best time to talk about this but I just wanted to apologize for everything."

"Mute, don't worry about it."

"No, I should have said sorry. I shouldn't have pressured you like I did. I forgot how anxious you can get, and I should've have been able to respect that when I had the opportunity."

"Thanks," I whispered, smiling up at him.

"Of course. And don't worry, I'll make it up to you somehow, in a way that you're comfortable with," he said, winking at me.

My face felt hot as I suddenly realized how much I missed Mute. I forgot the way his face looked when he smiled, and how he made his nose shrivel up slightly when he winked, and the small dimple on his cheek. They're all small details, but they're the most important ones to me.

"Can we go outside?" I asked, moving towards the edge of the couch to stand up.

"What for?"

"Just some fresh air. It's supposed to be nice out today."

"Are you going to be okay out there? Are you feeling fine?"

"Yeah, I'm a lot better since I took the medicine. I just want to sit in the grass and enjoy the weather."

It's been awhile since I've taken the time to go outside and appreciate nature. I've only started doing it recently, but I'm really glad I did. I feel somewhat connected to the outdoors in a weird way, it's almost as if when I listen to the birds and wind, I can feel my parents around me.

Mute smiled and stood up, grabbing my arm to help me stand and steady my balance. Once I was able to walk, I looked up at him and studied the concerned expression on his face as his eyes focused on my socks to make sure I wouldn't fall.

When we got outside I walked towards the woods but stopped before I got any closer. I sat down in the yard and felt the cool blades of grass move between my fingers as I rested my palms against the ground. I breathed in the air and listened as the birds moved around in the trees above us.

"This is peaceful," Mute admitted, now sitting down next to me and embracing the outside world.

"I love it."

I closed my eyes and felt the universe move around me. This is one of the few times I didn't feel sick or sad, but rather relaxed and grateful for being able to exist in this exact spot and moment.

When I opened my eyes I hadn't realized how much time had passed. Mute's now laying on his back and pulling apart the small blades of grass, watching as the two sides separate from each other. When he saw me staring at him, he immediately sat up and threw the grass to the side.

"Sorry," he whispered, moving his hands across the front of his jeans.

I laughed and rolled his eyes, appreciating the fact that he at least made an effort to stay sitting up and focused.

"Are you ready to go back inside?" He asked, turning to face me.

I nodded and stood up slowly, allowing him to take my hand in his. I forgot how perfectly his hand formed in mine, almost like a lock and key. He smiled and pulled me back towards the door, occasionally looking over his shoulder to make sure I was still awake and conscious.

I stopped and watched as his body flung around with panic to make sure I wasn't about to faint again. I grinned at him and raised an eyebrow as I let go of his hand and began twirling in circles across the yard. It's such a sporadic thing to do, but I just felt the urge to jump around and enjoy myself.

Once Mute realized that I was fine, he ran after me and grabbed my by the waist, pulling me in close to him to keep me from running and jumping anymore. I laughed and screamed, pushing on his chest and trying to escape.

What I forgot was the Mute was almost a full foot taller than me, and could basically go all day holding me against my will. He picked me up and propped me on his shoulder while he began to walk back towards the house laughing.

"Not fair!" I yelled laughing, beating my fists against his back.

"You can't get away this time sweetheart," he laughed, clutching on tighter to my legs to keep me from falling off his shoulder.

I surrendered and placed my head in my hands and rested my elbows on his back. I watched as the yard appeared larger and we walked farther away from it, and smiled at how lucky I felt.

The thing about people is that there's some you can trust, and some you just need to cut out of your life. I've tried cutting Mute out of my life, but it only made living harder, which is one of the main signs that a person is extremely important to you. I might not be ready to move on from Mute, instead, I feel like I'm just getting wrapped back into having a strong bond with him which is so powerful that I don't even have control over it anymore. But this time, I'm not complaining.