The Celibacy Club | Dirty MAGCon BoyxBoy

37. Chance to Change

C.DALLAS

8:20 PM

I use my moms pink bicycle to race over to Nash's house. I've got some dirt on him to prove that he's not as clean as he thinks he is, at least compared to me.

"Nash!" I bang on his house door. It soon opens up with Chad. I almost slam at his face but with my late reaction, I stay a few inches away from the action. "Oh. Hey. Can I talk to Nash?" I say sincere, trying to peak my head in. "What are your intentions?"

"Just to talk about something. I promise. It's sort of urgent." He nods, but very suspiciously and opens the door, pointing at the stairs that I know too well of.

He's known me for sometime, I use to always come over and he was okay with it. Somebody must of let stories around about our relationship maybe he's pretty protective over Nash and who comes over now. His dad did not seem like he wanted me around at all.

I go to his room and I don't hesitate to open his door immediately. "Nash." I say sternly. "What? There's no, oh hi baby! Gosh. What are you mad about now?" He sighs with an obvious attitude. And ever since we broke up and got back together, he's more stronger. Like, he's okay with taking back to me. "You had dinner with Sammy last night?"

"Yeah. And? He's one of my newer friends." Nash tells me soft. "You're not jealous are you? I don't think you have a right to be. It was just dinner. I was at his house and slept. Leave it as that." He further explains himself and I try to call myself.

I nod and sit on his desk chair. "I'm sorry. I'm just, worried. I can't loose you again. And I promise, I want you to know everything. And I hope you're telling me everything as well. It's that trust that we lost some how that last month. You can honestly tell me everything."

"We kissed." I raise my head high and look at Nash. I hurriedly stand up and grab him by the shirt collar. "You kissed Sammy? You said all you did was have dinner and go to sleep." I push him against his bedroom wall.

"C-Cam... You told me to tell you the truth. And if you can't take it, you should leave." I hear his breathing growing at a fast pace as he's quivering. He won't look me in the eyes anymore and it takes me back to remembering how I've hurt him, and I don't want to anymore.

I let go of his shirt and sit him down on his bed with me next to him. I rub his lap in a sign of me attempting to give him comfort.

"Can we try something... I've been thinking about it, ever since... That one night that we, you know. The whole force and fight thing? I've always wanted to tell you, but I'm too afraid." Nash says softly. I've never wanted Nash to possibly be afraid of me. But I guess that's how we've trailed off into this relationship. "Nash, tell me anything that can help our relationship get better."

"I want to take you to anger management classes. You and I both know the smallest things irritate you. And I'm so afraid you'll lay a hand on me one day. You practically did a few times, and today. But, I don't want to ever have to confess to someone that I'm abused by you. Your anger is too much for me now. And I think you should seek help." Nash says soft. I look down at my knuckles and shrug.

I remember punching plasters after I had cheated on Nash, and all the times I've needed to go to the gym just to fight off the anger tension. Oh and how I've fought with my friends like Taylor and Gilinsky over dumb things.

And here it comes, Nash finally tells me he's afraid of me. He's never said that before. Maybe it he would of told me, my eyes would of opened up. "Nash, I want to change, for you. I'll do it."

"Good because I already had a number saved for quite sometime. We can schedule you an interview and from there, you'll be apart of their speech therapy group." Nash takes my hand and kisses it. "I've never liked these scars. Your skin pigment just keeps changing and the layers of the skin, scars over scars. But I accept them. I just don't like the stories."

I look at my knuckles and do realize that I don't even have the same skin color anymore. Some are lighter than others, some with blotchy red, and some dark because I've picked the scabs over time.

"Okay. Anger management therapy it is." I say softly. I give Nash a quick little kiss and stand up. "I told your dad that I came here just to talk. I guess I'll be going now." I say softly.

Nash stands up and opens his arms for me to bury myself in them. Usually I'm the outer hug but right now I feel myself melting beneath him. "I love you, Cam and thank you for considering this. And I didn't mean to kiss him yesterday. It was a weird rush. I'm sorry."

"Nash... It's okay. It's okay. I love you too and I'll see you tomorrow. You're accomplishing so much and you'll do no wrongs." I tell him and peck his forehead.

"What did I do right? What have I done?" Nash looks up to me and roams his hands in my hair. I brush his hair away from his eyes. "You're still staying strong to your pact and I couldn't be more happy. I'm so glad for you and I'll really try not to force you. I promise. I swear, I'm being a better me, and I will not, not, not, make you do anything you do not want to. I love you so much."

Taylor told me to mention how proud I am, it'll keep them staying around longer. But, it does feel amazing to say that. To say he's perfect.

And right now, I'm telling the truth and I don't have anything to hide anymore because I love him and I really can't risk hurting him again.

-

Sorry if you don't like this angry Cam. He's admit he's bipolar since the first POV of his own in this book.

I like this bad, angry Cam. But I don't think I'll ever make him extremely abusive. Unless you guys want that. Dunno.

-

I need to catch up. I use to have an extra ten chapters ahead, but I only have two prewritten chapters after this. Sigh.

And let me tell you, the next few things bout to get stupid and dumb, out of my imagination.

update 05/02
lol look i wrote this one whole month ago omg my last authors note from before down there.

Written: Fri 0401
Published: 0504
Next update: 0509