stranger \\ cth

"straight-out honesty"

hello friends !!!

as some of you may know we hit 10 k around last week and are at 12k now  so everyone stop rn and give urself a giant pat on the back and pretend its from me bc u all deserve a nice pat

so anyway i love you guys hope all is well (:

-  

When Calum stepped through the door of the bus, he made a silent promise to himself to never again let down the people who cared about him. After all, that's what he had been doing for the past three days. Walking in to the bus was more of the final push he had been needing. 

Lots of hugs and lost of "you're an idiot, never disappear again or i'll kill you's" were exchanged and for the first tie in a long time, Calum remembered what it was like to be happy again. 

Happiness is an extremely elusive thing to anyone who isn't trying very hard to find it. If one really wanted to be happy, the feeling embraces them with open arms. You have to believe in it to obtain it. But to those who almost want to be sad, happiness is a memory you begin to despise. Believe Calum, he knew the feeling.

But now, Calum believed in it. With Luke and Michael and Ashton and the fans, Calum remembered how great being joyous really was.

He remembered how much the band, the boys, and the fans cared about him. With everything going on, he had forgotten happiness. And he had decided he wouldn't dare put himself through that again. 

- 

Ella was a topic all three boys were hesitant on bringing up after Calum came back. 

Of course, they had the best intentions; they didn't want any mention of her to trigger Calum. But they were all very curious wether Cal's breakdown had sparked any worry with the likes of her. 

Calum knew they were dying to talk about her. 

And the thought of her messages were still tugging at the back of this mind. It had been almost a day since he had received them and he wasn't entirely sure what to do. 

Of course, the entirety of Calum was dying to call her, to text her, to see her. But he wasn't sure how to approach the situation without losing her again. 

"She texted me," Calum began, while the four of them were littered inside their tour bus.

"What?"

"Yesterday. Before I came back. She texted me worried and I decided to get my ass back here." 

"The hell do you mean, Calum?" Michael started. 

"What did she say?" 

"Have you responded?"

"Um, she said she missed me and was worried about me and didn't want to watch me hurt myself," calum sighed, biting his lip. 

"What are you going to do?" Luke asked, honestly concerned for his best friend. 

"I don't know guys..." Calum responded, hand reaching for the back of his neck, suddenly extremely nervous. 

"Cal," Ashton began, timid address the elephant in the room. 

"Cal, do you love her?"

- 

calum: I'm sorry 

calum: im so so so sorry el 

calum: i know i fucked up babe 

calum: i know that you've probably moved on from what happened 

calum: i just want to let you know that i haven't 

calum: and i miss you 

calum: and I'm sorry 

calum: and i get it if you never want to talk to me again 

calum: but i want to explain to you what happened

calum: i feel like i owe you an explanation 

calum: no lies, no fake anything, no holding back, just straight-out honesty 

ella: okay 

ella: when and where 

- 

hey hoes

im so sorry this is the shortest chapter I've ever uploaded i just felt bad bc it had been almost a MONTH 

but hey life looking up for me i hope all is well

comment about your week/ interesting things happening wit u guys. i wanna talk and interact and see how you all are doing !! :)

ok i love you guys thank you again so much for 12k+ reads and feel free to message me whatever/whenever i want to chat and get to know some of you 

xx mia