Cold World

I don't know .

- Shanel's Pov

Wether I'm prepared for this or not Shawn is my father. My bloodline . I can either embrace it , or ignore this shit. Being how I'm a grown woman now , its best to embrace it. Now Gino that's a whole different situation! He knows his actions were fucked up and so does Kandi. There day will come trust !

"James come on we gonna go see Shawn." I told James.

He kept a blank face and walked with me to the door. I wasn't nervous , scared , anxious i wasn't anything. This was something that needed to be done.

"If your not ready for this we can do it some other time" James told me as we drove to the park.

"Gotta be done someday" I simply stated.

James didn't reply leaving me in my own thoughts. I was already on my bitchy side due to mothernature ! I get her two times out of the year and when she do come that btich hurts me ! Which triggers my i dont give a fuck attitude.. Today was not my day but i'm trying.

"Looks like were here" I parked. "Guess so.." James trailed. Sweat was forming on his forehead inside i laughed out how nervous he was. I intertwined our fingers together in attempt to relax his nerves just a little. My small gesture did nothing , he was still nervous as can be nothing was gonna change that.

"Thanks for coming guys" Shawn told us after we greeted eachother. I simply nodded and waited for him to speak. "

It's fucked up how were meeting eachother but at least were doing it right?" he awkwardly stated. Each of us just nodded , putting us in a awkward silence.

"I accept you" I finally spoke.

James looked up at me , and my father smiled. Shawn stood up came to my side and hugged me

"I love you" he whispered .

"I love you" I whispered. It was a weird feeling inside of me , I didnt know how to feel.

Something made me feel some type of way , a way I rarely feel. Accepting.

"I wanna make this right"Shawn spoke. I smiled and nodded , this time I was actually speechless.

"Look dude , I dont know how to feel. This ... this shit has hit me harder than anything in my life. I wanna be happy , I wanna embrace you. But somethings holding me back. I still have so much anger built up. Not necessarily towards you , its just there" James angrily spoke his eyes showing so much confusion. It hurt seeing my brother so torn. Shawn's eyes showed understanding but I knew he was hurt as well.

"Its okay , I understand ... just don't wait to long ?" Shawn spoke. With nothing said between them me and James left. Noticing him getting worked up I chose to leave.

- 3 rd person pov

On the way home neither Shanel or James said anything. Both of them were alone in their thoughts.

Pulling into Shanel's driveway she asked James .

"Are you scared" . Without thinking James said no.

But regretted it afterwards knowing the answer was yes. He was scared of knowing the man he called his dad his life was a liar , and could possibly be the reason his blood father was in jail. Something didnt sit right with him but he was afraid of the truth.

Once James quickly said no Shanel knew her older brother was scared. She knew him to well , wether he put on a front or not. James was scared , she was in a way just not as much. Plans were forming in her head to find out the truth , to see whats been hidden from her in life.

Juan had been waiting on his girl , anxious to know how her day went. Considering he hoped to someday find his father as well.

"Hey babe" Shanel spoke as she took off her shoes .

"How'd it go" Juan cut to the chase ready to hear her answer.

"Good actually , its just James isnt ready" she told Juan. Juan was taking back a little "

Why?" he asked.

"That muthafucka Gino " Shanel simply stated. With that Juan understood and had nothing to say.

"Ima figure this out , nobody's ever had my brother this confused and in his feelings " Shanel said mostly to herself.

"Baby.." Juan started.

"I wanna know everything ! there gonna pay to !" Shanel stated. Juan had nothing to say. He knew nothing was changing her plan and knew either way he was ridin' with her.