Damaged // Zayn Malik

one

Hi, I'm Beth and I'm 18 years old.

Today, I'm moving into my dorm at my new University. Im going to be studying Art. I have always wanted to pursue a career in Art, but never wanted to go to university. The only reason I'm going is because my patents practically pushed me into it. I really want to make them proud, but this wasn't my choice.

I would be back during the next holiday, but I didn't want to leave in the first place. I loved my bedroom and the past few weeks, I barely left the room, knowing I wouldn't have the same amount of privacy that this dorm room offered. It was the one place where I could do what I liked when I wanted to.

My Dad packed the car full of my luggage as it seems as if my parents can't wait to get me out of the house. Dot get me wrong, I know my parents love me more than anything in the world, but sometimes they don't act like it.

"Beth, are you ready yet?" My mum called through the house.

"One minute" my house echoed around my bedroom. I took one last glance at my bedroom and shut the door.

My best friend Ava was going to be sharing my dorm with me as we were studying the same subjects. Our best friend Liam would also be studying here. He was going to be studying English. We have all been friends since we were 3 years old. We are all really close and if I told them anything personal, they wouldn't tell a soul.

I made my way out of the front door and into my Dad's car. I was going to miss home so much and I just don't want to to back to studying. I feel like I have done enough of it in my life already and don't want the repetition again.

"Are you ready?" My mum asked from the passenger seat.

"Yeah." I said rather bluntly. I was mad at my parents for making me go to University and I didn't even have a choice.

My older brother Niall stayed home because he has to go to work in a few hours. He promised he would come and visit me the first weekend of being there. Sometimes I feel like he is the only one who understands me. He is 19 but will be tuning 20 in a few days. That is another reason why he was going to visit me, because I wanted to see him near his birthday.

"I'm so excited for you! You will love it" My mum continued her praise and after listening for a minute, I completely zoned out. All I could think about was how the days were going to drag. My parents knew my true feelings towards the whole University idea and they knew that I didn't really want to go, but they still insisted that I go.

We stopped halfway through the journey to get something to eat. I was silent for the whole time we were eating. I did feel bad for not talking as I wouldn't see them for a long time, but I just couldn't bring myself to make conversation. I knew that if I spoke, I would surely burst into tears.

I lived 3 hours away from my new University. My mum continued talking for most of the journey, even though I had put my earphones in and was now listening to music. She seemed to be more excited than me.

When we finally arrived, my stomach was doing flips. Now I had arrived, I had stopped dreading it as much, but I still wasn't excited to be here.

Me and Ava had agreed we would meet in the car park at 12pm. The time now was 11:50am. Having Ava there would make me feel so much better and help calm my nerves. She had told me that she was dreading it too, so we both knew how each other felt. We had to be there by 12:30 to sign in and get our dorm keys.

While I sat waiting, I put my chocolate brown hair into a ponytail. My hair has natural small waves. It usually falls halfway down my back, but as I was getting more and more nervous, I just wanted it out of my face. I think it is my best feature, I never classed myself as pretty, in fact I would say that 95% of people my age were more attractive than me. I have always been super insecure of my looks and body.

At 11:55, Ava text me saying that she was just pulling into the car park. I looked out of my window and noticed her Mum's car. She noticed me at the same time and waved. I told my parents that she had arrived and we got out of the car. Ava ran over to me and gave me a hug.

"Hey"

"Hey, you okay?" I guess she could sense how nervous I was.

"Just nervous. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I know how you feel" she gave me a sympathetic smile and turned to give my parents a hug. My parents always treated Ava as if she was their daughter too, as we had practically grown up together. I always felt like my parents have favoured Ava over me.

I checked the time on my phone after hugging Ava's Mum. 12:05. I just wanted to get my bags unpacked and settled in.

We all made our way to the main hall and signed in. The woman organising the sign-in sheets seemed stern and harsh. She didn't smile once, this is going to be fun! She handed me and Ava each our dorm keys. We had decided that we were going to meet Liam after we had all settled in.

We were placed in dorm number 135. We made our way to our new dorm with our parents. I couldn't wait for this all to be over. I just wanted to be familiar with this whole place. That's the trouble with me, I don't like new places that I'm not familiar with. I always get panicky and anxious. I needed to calm down before I had a panic attack.

We walked up to the dorm. It was quite large. Our beds were directly in front of us. Ava ran over to the bed on the right and claimed it as hers. There was a desk each on the opposite walls to the beds and we each had a closet.

"This is nice" My mum said.

"Yeah it is"

Finally being able to know where I would be living had a calming effect on me and I wasn't as anxious anymore. Our parents stayed for about half an hour before they left.

"So, are you still nervous?" Ava startled me as we were unpacking our suitcases.

"Umm... yeah, but not as nervous as I was. Are you?"

"Yeah, terrified" she laughed.

We unpacked our stuff and then decided we would look around the campus. I text Liam asking if he was ready to meet.

From: Liam

Yep I'm all done. Where do you want to meet?

From: Beth

Cool. Meet us by the main hall.

We made our way over to the main hall and Liam was already waiting outside. I used to have a huge crush on Liam, I mean he is a really good looking guy, but he's my best friend.

"Hey" Liam said as we approached him.

"Hey Liam. you okay?" I said as we leaned in for a hug.

"Yeah. Are you? Have you settled in yet?"

"Yeh we're fine. I think it's gonna take some more time to settle in though. How about you?"

"I guess I'll be the same" he said with a small smile.

Ava had always said that Liam had a crush on me. Apparently, it was obvious. I have picked up on a few things the past few times I have met up with him, but never thought anything of it. Ava has a massive crush on Liam, so I don't think she likes the idea that maybe he likes me. She has never said anything about being jealous, but if he does like me, I'm sure she would be.

We continued our tour around campus. I spotted a cute little bench under a tree and took a seat. It was starting to get dark and I was starting to get tired.

We sat there talking for about 20 minutes before I noticed a guy staring at us from outside the big iron gates. He was leant against the pillar of the gate. He had jet black hair which was placed into a quiff and was smoking. Even when he knew I had noticed him, he still continued to stare. I couldn't really see his face, but I knew I would be able to recognise him anywhere. He continued to stare until we were out of sight.

We made our way back to our dorm and said bye to Liam. I kept thinking about the guy stood by the gates. I wasn't sure if he had scared me or intrigued me.

************

Hey, I hope you like this. I will try to update as soon as possible.

Please comment and vote.

Ily

Holly xxx