Alien //Part 1 Namjoon

The Accident

Half a year ago In February

My mom and I we're actually more friends than mother and child. She was by my side the whole time. I mean, I can't blame my dad for dying when I was a child. But my mom just always was there. I neither understood those kids who hated their parents and found them embarrassing nor those who talked about the cool stuff they did with their fathers.

The only thing I knew about my father is that he was korean. And I was reminded about that everytime I looked into the mirror. I hated my weirdly shaped eyes but there were some advantages too. I had perfectly clean and toned skin, not like those stupid blondes in my class.
And my hair was dark and thick and it looked so silky and soft~

But my german attributes weren't that bad either. For example my double eyelids. I don't need plastic surgery for that at least. And my eyes weren't as small as most korean eyes. My mom always told me I got the best attributes from both cultures.

But as my father died early I never had the chance to actually get to know korean culture. We also never visited my father's family ever since his death. I heard that they were on his burial but I was way to young to remember.
For a few months now I started being interested in korean culture. I watched kdramas and listened to kpop like big bang or exo. I tried to learn korean too but I was pretty busy with school so all I learned was "annyeonhaseyo", "gamsahabnida" and things like "omo" and "aish". Oh yea and I knew how to introduce myself. But in Korea I would still be lost.

My birthday was in one month from now and me and my mom went into the city to look for some things I liked. We did that every year to avoid buying the wrong things and I appreciated it. I wasn't too keen on getting older anyways.

We strolled around the city and looked in some of the shops and boutiques and my mum made a list of the things I liked. It was very fun and after a few hours walking around we took a break at Starbucks.

And on our way home it happened...

We sat in our car and chatted a bit while getting closer to our hometown. It was a beautiful winter day. The snow reflected the sun and it looked like someone threw glitter over every tree. It was beautiful and I took a photo with my smartphone.

I smiled. I still know that. I smiled and looked at my mum. And the next thing I know was the airbag opening and a loud crashing sound. I can still feel the seatbelt cutting into my throat and almost strangling me. I hit my head on something hard and just before I lost my consciousness I saw my mother bleeding and staring at me with lifeless eyes.

I woke up in an hospital. Beeping sounds surrounded me and I saw an unfamiliar face hovering above me. I didn't hear what they said. Or at least I can't remember anymore. I asked them where my mother was and their expression turned gloomy.
They told me that my mum died right after the impact. Another car crashed into us from the side. I was lucky they said. I don't even have a scar they said. My mum saved my life they said.
But I didn't wanna hear it. I sank into a deep hole and actually gave up on life.

But they didn't let me end my life. They supervised me 24/7 so I won't try to kill myself. Eventually they send me Doctor Stein. She was the first one that I talked to again. She helped me to come out of that hole again.

A few months passed. I was 17 already but I still was in the hospital. Not because I had any physical damage but because I needed psychological treatment. And because I had nowhere to go anyways.

But I couldn't live in the hospital forever so we decided together that I should go to my aunt and my uncle in Korea. Dr. Stein had her doubts about that saying that moving to a completely unknown country can be bad for my emotional stability and all but I was at a point where I didn't cared for anything that happened to me.
So I agreed.

And here I am now sobbing into my cousins shirt and telling him everything.
He had tears in his eyes when I looked up and hugged me again. Tightly. He told me that he was so sorry for me. But I didn't want to be pitied. I am already crying so I don't need him crying too. I told him that I was fine and he let go of me.

"If you ever need emotional support just ask me okay? I'll be there for you"

I nodded and smiled at him. I was tired of always crying. I was tired of being sad. But I will never get tired of this honest smile with the cute dimples showing.

I'll be alright