Zayns pov (yeah you read that right)
Me and Perrie were sitting around niall's flat. I'm not exactly sure why we were in niall's flat, but we are so... We are also planning our wedding. We have decided it to be in 3 months. Yes we know it's soon but we wanted to have it quickly.
I love Perrie so much. I needed to be assured that she was all mine forever, as soon as possible. Harry had woken up earlier today, and all of us got to see him. The nurse had told us we had to leave though because visiting hours were over. Everyone had gone back to Niall's. Except Liam... I wonder where he is.
I've been thinking alot about Liam lately. I'm really worried. He stopped talking to me. The only time he did is when I addressed him first.
We are drifting Away, and I can't stand for that to happen. He's my best friend. I can't lose him.
"Babe?" Perrie asked quietly
"Yeah?" I answered
"Im going to go dress shopping tommorow ok?"
I nodded my head and looked away. Planning this wedding was stressful and harder than I thought.
I was opening my mouth to say something when there was a loud knock on the door.
"I'll get it" Niall jumped up and opened the door revealing Liam and a... Girl?
"Oh hey Liam and..." Niall trailed off. Obviously unsure of what to say.
"This is my girlfriend. Jenna" Liam stated snaking his arm around the girls waist.
I almost choked after hearing Liam say that. Jenna Did not seem like a girl Liam would ever go for. She had bleach blonde hair, and blue eyes I think... It was hard to tell, she had so much makeup on. It was caked on to her face. She had on a skirt that Didnt leave anything to the imagination. It was so short I'm sure that if she bent down just a little bit, it would show her butt. And than her shirt showed so much cleavage and was so tight, one good sneeze could have ripped it in half leaving her in a bra, which, you could see straight through the shirt.
Liam always stayed away from girls like this. He went and sat down on the couch. I was watching him closely something Didnt seem right. As he sat down Jenna came up and sat down on his lap, pushing her body against his. There was plenty of room on the couch. It wasn't necessary for her to sit on top of him...
She leaned back and whispered something in his ear. He smiled and shook his head. She Didnt like this answer so she huffed loudly and made a giant bubble gum bubble and popped it in what seemed like annoyance. I hadn't even realized she had gum in her mouth I don't know how I didn't realize. She was chewing it like a cow.
"But baby," she cooed. Ew. She had this tiny squeaky high pitched voice that sounded like a dogs squeaky toy to be honest with you. "I'm borrrreeedddd" she said running her hand up and down Liam's chest. Liam sighed and pulled her head closer so he could whisper something in her ear. She started giggling and than hit his chest playfully.
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After about an hour of this they finally got up and left. Perrie was staying at her moms tonight, they would go shopping together tommorow. So I was home alone. I opened the door to my flat and sat down on the couch.
What was going on with me?
When I saw Liam and that Jenna girl together earlier, it made me feel... Strange. I felt angry And betrayed. I have no idea why. I also felt a bit sad. But I'm scared because I also felt one thing I have only ever felt when I saw Perrie and some guy hugging in the news. I felt jealous. I thought I couldn't have been more jealous than that one time, but I was just proven wrong. Jealousy had ran through my veins like venom. I was seeing red by the time they left.
I have no idea why.
I have Perrie.
I love Perrie.
Me and Perrie are getting married.
Why would I feel jealous of Jenna?
It's probably just because he's your best friend and she is spending alot of time with him, I assured myself. Part of my brain was nagging me that it might be something more.
I hopped into bed in a pair of sweatpants before going to sleep. But something dragged me out of my sleep faster than I could even explain. As I layed down, I missed the warmth of someone next to me. But I didn't long for Perrie. My entire being longed for Liam to lay down next to me and cuddle me tight.
"Oh my god..."
I stared at the wall for a while, realizing I wasn't going to sleep tonight.
I'm in some deep shit...
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Liam's pov
I dropped Jenna off at her flat, and now was back home in mine.
I immediately walked past the kitchen... I don't think I've eaten anything in 3 days. Well... At least I'm not gaining fat.
I walked straight into the bathroom, grabbed a razor and sat down on the floor.
I hate Jenna.
One cut on each wrist.
I'm using her.
Another cut.
Her kisses were gross and tasted like makeup.
Another cut.
I'm a horrible person.
Another cut.
Zayn will never love me.
Another cut.
He doesn't like mean people.
Another cut.
I'm Too fat.
Another cut.
I'm ugly.
Another cut.
I cut.
Another cut.
I starve myself.
Another cut.
I was crying tears streaming down my face. My arms hurt and stung but I love the pain. It felt amazing.
Thoughts of everything I have ever done wrong circles my head as I continued to make at least 10 more cuts on each wrist. I stared at them for a minute, letting the blood run down my arm. I got up and ran them under water, the water turning scarlet. I waited until they stopped bleeding.
I felt really drained.
I stripped and crawled into bed, curling into a little ball.
Im crying, the wetness on my face ran down and started to make my pillow wet as I slowly fell asleep.
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A/N
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