Liam's pov
I looked down and fiddled with my hands. It has been three weeks since I left the hospital.
Three weeks since I had entered hell.
I still haven't gotten my memory back, I AM still in love with zayn.
Everyday is drawing me closer and closer to the day where I have to say I do.
The day that my life would no longer be mine. After spending every single day of the last three weeks with Jenna planning the wedding I can assure you something, I do not love this girl. It honestly shocks me how I ever did.
The ever daunting thought that I might have been drunk the entirety of our short relationship is constantly something that I have been questioning.
I haven't talked to zayn since I left the hospital. It's breaking my heart. Perrie and him are getting married in a few weeks.
He's in love, and I should be happy, but I'm not.
The cutting has started again.
I haven't eaten in 3 days.
All the old demons are back. I can't remember what they've said before, but I'm sure they did.
Because I had old scars.
My wrist was now distorted with old scars and new, dancing together, showing my pain and struggle.
I hate myself.
I feel horrible.
I want to be gone, I want to kill myself.
But my thoughts always get jumbled in the way.
"You need to marry Jenna. You made an obligation. You can't back out now."
Tears run down my face
I can't keep doing this.
It will all be over soon:
All the questioning
All the regrets
All the horrible thoughts
All of my love for zayn.
It needed and would stop.
Because tomorrow I'm getting married to Jenna.
Tomorrow my life would change forever.
Ill be entering a new hell.
The thing about this one though is that
Ill never be able to get out of it.
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A/N:
Alright guys
Sorry for the long wait and sucky chapter.
Ily guys
XxSiobhan
