Harry POV
So this is what it feels like to have your hear ripped out of your chest to the point of no return. Louis' engaged. And that's wonderful for him. I just hope he's happy because if he isn't, that would just make this whole thing a lot worse. Eleanor seems nice, I wouldn't know, though... I never really gave her a chance. I wonder if Louis ever told her about what we had, she probably knew considering we weren't exactly "private" about how much we loved each other before we signed with Modest!. But that isn't the point, the point is that he's happy. And maybe I should be happy too, after all I do love him. I love him... I really really love him. Just then I got a call from Vanessa, snapping myself out of it and sniffling back the tears I answered politely, in no mood to hear whatever the hell she has to say this time. "Hello." I answered and I heard Vanessa laugh. "Hello, Harry. How are you today? Enjoying the speculation over Louis' engagement?" She said to me and I cringed. "Vanessa I'm in no mood. Now if you'd-" "Harry, go over to Louis and Eleanor's, you're spending the day with El." Alright maybe now I'm going to have to start giving her a chance.
*later that day*
I opened the door of Starbucks for Eleanor, she politely thanked me and gave me an apologetic but sweet look. We got our coffee or whatever the hell she ordered and sat down. "So, Harry... Why did you ask me to come have coffee with you?" What am I supposed to say? Nosy Eleanor having to get all into my business... "Well I'm not sure, Louis is my best mate and if he likes you I thought I should get to know you better, especially if you're engaged." I said and she gave me a... Knowing look? "Vanessa made you didnt she?" Eleanor said and looked towards the ground in sadness. "Yes but that's alright, I was just thinking earlier today that you must be a sweet girl if Louis likes you... He's tough to please you know. Don't get all upset on me." I said to her and she looked up, almost sadder if possible. "Oh Harry... This must be so hard for you. Louis told me... Um... About you two. And I just want you to know... Why don't we go." Eleanor said and gave me an apologetic look. "I'm sure the paps have gotten some photos, Vanessa will be pleased with you." She said to me and started heading for the door.
Days passed like that, El and I forced to hang out, but not too much for people to think that we were "cheating" on Louis. I'm not sure where Louis was during this time, probably doing his thing and getting ready for his wedding. Liam's wedding was coming up soon, he was out of the hospital now. I'm still confused on what is going on with him... I thought he loved Zayn. Feelings like that don't just go away. His wedding is coming up, though. But my heart isn't into anything anymore. It's literally gone... Only doing what it was specifically designed to do, pump blood-although I almost wish it would stop. I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe my heart isn't gone, but my brain... Or the important part of my brain. It just doesn't seem to care anymore. I guess I was too late to get my soul mate before he found someone else...
The cutting had started again, though I was being smarter on how to, well, not get put in the hospital. People don't seem to care about the scars anymore, which is good. It's old news and... I'm not worth it. And as for the drinking, I don't go out to bars anymore, I know I could get into trouble... That's not to say I don't still drink, I probably drink more, just not fancy cocktails but beer, wine, vodka, whatever I can buy. Liam's wedding will be hard not only because I know that another wedding after this, I will be attending is the love of my life's to his wonderful fiancé who I literally can't find a flaw about, except for the fact that she stole Louis from me, not like it was her fault that I wasn't good enough. But Liam's wedding will also be hard because I'm so confused about him and Zayn. My view on love was so messed up to begin with when Louis broke up with me, lately the only concept of love that I could grasp was Zayn and Liam being in love... Except for the fact that Zayn and Perrie were dating. But now... Now I don't know. And it kills me. Maybe I'm drowning inside... Maybe there's nothing anyone can do to save me because they can't see the water level rising, they can't see my head bobbing on the surface, see my head getting lower and lower, see my head go all the way down. But it's happening and there's no escape. Maybe this is the end of One Direction...
A/N: Wow okay it took me forever to update don't hit me. I'm so sorry, hope you enjoy it. So there's more to go... Siobhan and I talked about writing a sequel but I'm not sure if I will be able to, I barely have enough time. I probably will wind up writing one though, but not as long as before. There's still more to come from this story, though. Feedback is always appreciated. Love you!!!! ~Mary
