Hit and Kill - Chapter Eight

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CHAPTER EIGHT

            Stupid girl. You don't know what you're thinking anymore. It's impossible, he couldn't have gotten to your head when you've only been together for a few days! I screamed internally to myself.

            It was crazy! There was no way that I liked him more than well...a friend or a partner in crime--literally. It's not like you thought of him for the whole four years!

            But that was against my will and only slowly had I stopped.

            The first year had been painful. The lifestyle was such a change. I missed Cain and Rosa. Being the last thing I saw from Cain was his face as I turned his offer down, slamming the door and Rosa hugging me and leaving angrily. I didn't want to think of Rosa at all, and especially not Cain.

            The leather book flashed to the front of my mind. I grabbed my bag of things I retrieved and searched through it, hoping Hunter had included that while he was packing. I smiled when I found the fading brown leather notebook that I called my journal. I sat on the bed and unwound the leather string.

            I skimmed through the entries. They had stopped a year and a half years ago, when I stopped myself from aching about my past more than I had been. I had recorded everything in my journal from when I first started my life with Kerri.  It was about Cain and Rosa, about the other members. About how he wanted me to kill their mother. I clenched my fists angrily at those words.

            Then it started to fade into noting less and less about them. I started talking about normal life. The ache chilled into nothing, but an empty spot in my chest. My facade of cool, calm, and in control were splattered and broken in the words on the paper. It was when I became even more calm and in control, I stopped writing. It stopped then, and I had never wrote in it since.

            I pulled out the pen that was attached to the spine of the book. I had never had a pen handy back then, so I made the convenient holder for it. I was glad I had took the time to do that then, because I had no pens with me at that moment.

            And since a year and a half years ago, the pen touched the paper again.

            These past few days have been hectic. My thoughts have been thrown all around my head into a jumbled mess. I think it had gotten to the point that I am talking to myself. And hallucinating thoughts and feelings. Just a few days ago, Rosa and Cain showed up when I was walking down the street. Kerri and Hunter's friend had decided to give me trouble and Rosa helped me. It looks like my fighting skills need some work. It was finally when Cain got me to listen to him. He told me that my sister was in danger. A hit was placed on her because of me. We ran. We have been traveling since then and just yesterday, the boss made a deal with me. I have 29 days left to decide if I want to save my sister and go against everything I now believe in; or run.

            I continued to write about Cain. The sudden realization made me stop at mid-sentence. What am I doing? I thought and rewound the book. I put the pen away and placed my book back in my bag. I returned to the kitchen where Cain was sitting, fully dressed now, looking like he had a million thoughts running through his head.

            "What are we going to do next?" I asked, sitting on the chair across from him.

            "I have no idea, but for now we need to talk about what we are going to do about the situation here," he gestured to the both of us.

            "Wait what?" I scoffed, I thought I told him that we were supposed to forget about us.

            "Yes, you do realize that I will be helping you with your decision and everything. You can't go through this alone, and I promise I'll stick by you even if my life is at risk. But really, when is it not?" Cain chuckled a little.

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