Cancer ★ Muke au

IV

"How was your day?" Andrew asked his son after they had all said their prayers and we're all sitting at the dinner table.

"It was okay, sir," Luke said as he took a spoonful of smashed potatoes into his mouth, " Diamond, a nurse that worked, there showed me around and helped me serve food to the patients"

"How nice of her," Liz complemented, "did you eat the lunch i packed for you?"

Luke nodded. "Good."

Soon after the whole table got into an awkward silence as everyone just started picking at their food, and Liz attempted to make small talk with Jack and Ben on how work was going for them.

Ever since summer vacation came along and Ben and Jack came to visit, Liz and Andrew have been clingier then ever. They would ask nonsense questions about the boys' life that were totally irrelevant.

After every one had finished their dinner, Ben and Jack quickly headed up stairs to rest, considering they would have a long, hard day at work the very next day. But Luke stayed down stairs and helped Liz with the dirty dishes, while Andrew just watched some TV in the living room.

When they were finally done cleaning up around the kitchen, Luke said goodnight to his parents and gave Liz a kiss on the cheek, before he went up to brush his teeth and get ready to rest after a long and exhausting day.

~
But Luke couldn't sleep. He was to caught up in his mind to sleep. But he wanted sleep. His body just ached for at Least a few hours of sleep. He even tried to count sheep to try to get himself tired, but it wouldn't work. His body wanted rest, but his mind wanted to stay awake and think.

Think about the memorizing lilac haired boy, with the magnificent green orbs. He thought about the small boy's perfect plump lips which looked beautiful when they were formed into a smile.

He also thought back to that day when Michael wasn't eating the food. He knew eating for cancer patients was pretty hard, because your stomach would be full all the time and would never have enough space for new food. so Luke didn't really worry about that. He just stayed in la-la land, thinking about Michael.

When only miles away from Luke's house, a poor, depressed boy was throwing up next to a toilet, as he would occasionally come to overwhelmed and start to gasp for air. He was so grateful  that the walls to his bedroom bathroom were sound proof, because he knew if they weren't someone would wake up to how loud Michael was being.

Michael brought his lanky legs up to his chest as he let his salty tears take over him. Michael absolutely  hated feeling like a freak. He hated having to force himself to eat and it all ending with him by to toilet. He didn't want to force himself, but when he saw the blond looking at him curiously, Michael panicked and tried to finish his whole plate, which Michael knew was very dumb of him.

When he was done throwing up, he quickly brushed his teeth and rinsed his mouth with mouth was, trying to get the throw up taste out of his mouth. Once he was done, he sat back down next to the toilet and just fell asleep, while dreaming.

Dreaming of a new life. A better life. One where maybe he didn't have to be him. And the life he wished for was death. Death was the only thing on Michael's mind ever since he was made to live in the hospital.

He thought if maybe he died and went to heaven, maybe just maybe, God would be a little nicer with Michael and let him live a life he always wanted. A life where he wasn't sick. A life were he could eat. And a life where he wouldn't  be freak and people would actually.

But Michael knew the chances of that were 0/100. Even if cancer ever did strike and kill him one day, he knew God would most likely send him to hell. He just knew it. And if not cancer, than it would totally never be Michael attempting suicide.

He had tried cutting before and it all ended with him crying on Diamond's shoulder. He was afraid of a few scares on his arm. How do you think he would feel if he actually tried to kill himself?

No matter how tough Michael is, he will never be strong enough to hurt himself,mentally or physically, again.

And this just made Michael feel more useless.

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A/N: thoughts? Feedback?