Lost In The Mind of Me

Part title

Another angel, capable of unimaginable things.

Demons, screaming in her mind.

Another angel, wants to die.

Demons, swarm her heart.

A young man, holds her close.

His voice, tells her of her magnificence,

But she can hardly hear him.

The hatred she holds for herself,

It's unbearably sad.

Holding her face in his hands,

He asks her why.

Why are you always sad?

Why do you hurt yourself?

Don't you know I care?

She looks at him and asks,

Do you hate someone so much, you want to cause them pain?

He answers yes.

If you had a knife in hand would you want to carve into their skin,

Get thrills from seeing them bleed?

He answers yes again.

Imagine your hatred of them, directed at yourself.

Imagine the ability to use that hatred,

And feel good because the eye of your hatred,

Is being tortured.

The boy looks at her, saying,

But I care about you, isn't that enough?

She looks at him sadly, and says,

If I were able to see why, then maybe it would be.

But, remember, I hate myself, so I cannot understand.

As tears stream down her face, he kisses her gently.

The next day, they were both found dead.

The boy, shattered because he could not help her,

Overdosed.

The girl saw him, and blew her brain out.

They now lay next to each other,

Forever together,

With no hatred to hurt them.

You may not know now, All the things that I am, Or the love I hold for you,

But I guess it's okay, If you don't want to talk or shit,

Because you have most likely moved on, Because I am not worth the time,

Or the effort that you once put into this love of ours,

Or maybe you just don't understand that every second apart,

Is another bullet in my heart, Or maybe you just don't give a flying fuck,

About someone who loved you just as much, About someone,

Who still has that love note, And that tiger,

And the sweet card that said you loved me, And I still have the bunny,

And I still have your picture, And I know that,

The way we fell hurt you as bad as it hurt me, But what you don't understand is,

When I let you go, I was falling further and further, And then Bam,

I hit the ground, The issues I have finally proclaimed themselves,

And now I want you to know that, I fucking hate you so much it hurts,

But I love you to the point where I want to die because I don't have you,

and you know that, I don't know how long I can last without you here with me,

I can't stand myself, I hate myself, And people all call me out, Saying that I am,

Beautiful, I am, Amazing, I am, Better than everyone else, But I can't see this shit,

Because that is an issue I have, Im depressed, Im fucking crazy too,

But most of all, I need to know, That you love me enough,

Enough to help me back up.

Everyday feels the same,

like i'm going insane,

trying to stay in this game,

No one knows,

what I dare not show,

And no matter where I go,

You are there,

showing you don't care

Making me break,

But I'm not that weak,

cuz my pain don't turn into misery,

everytime you leave me,

I won't fall,

you won't have it all,

don't tell me it's ok,

youre such a fake,

Don't know what path to take,

and no one knows,

what you dare not show,

and there I am,

showing I care,

Standing in the background,

Left all alone

With nothing to own.

If I had the choice of a billion years,

I would try to disappear.

If I had to write a book,

I'd rather cook.

If I could fly,

People won't die.

I want to be a Super Woman,

And try to save the race of man.

I believe that if I try,

I could do more than fly,

I could fix all mankind,

With the power of my mind.