Lost In The Mind of Me

Part title

When I went to go spend time with Robin and Hope, I was feeling rather down about not seeing Antonio. Then, I was quite happy I even had Antonio. Then I was insanely angry that I wasn't allowed to see him. Of course, these fits of emotion were quite common during that summer.

Robin, of course made my stay amazing. I didn't have to do chores, I was allowed on Facebook, I was allowed to talk to Antonio all night, I didn't have a bedtime or a wakeup time. It was great.

After the first few days, Kat, Robin, Hope and I were up late and Robin was drinking rum and diet coke. She let Kat, hope and I drink from her glass.

The next night, she let us drink while the boys slept. I learned I get really emotional when I'm drunk. I also smoke when I'm drunk.

Shocking right? For someone who was a goody two shoes. But I did what I did, and I don't regret it.

That summer, I spoke to Antonio on the phone nonstop. We were texting and calling all summer. Kat and I would go outside and sit on the rooftop talking to people, about people, about life, dreams, wishes, pain. We talked about everything. That is something I will never forget.

Antonio didn't get to see me much over the summer because of mom and Danny. But that was okay.

On my birthday we went to a drive in movie theater. We saw transformers and something else that I slept through. As we were going inside, Danny was carrying Kat inside and accidentally dropped Kat and her head busted open. She was okay though.

Towards the end of the summer, Kats' sister Jasmine came and stayed with us. Then they left. Because of Danny. I try not to blame him, but it really truly was his fault. Well, not entirely. Danny raised us differently than how Kat and Jasmine had been raised. Danny fully beliefs in spanking and chores, and they weren't used to it.

A few months later, Kat said Danny had assaulted her sexually. He didn't, of course, but still the cops came and investigated. I stayed mad at her for all of about a month. Every time I saw her, I cried. Antonio was there to comfort me. I miss him.

Many things happened that year. We were evicted. We moved in with our neighbor Dave. I had to put my best friend Zeus down; he had feline leukemia. Dave stabbed us in the back. We moved to a motel room. And during all of this, Antonio was there.

Then, in February of 2015, we found a home.

We moved, switched schools, and I went further away from Antonio than the 15 miles that separated us.

And I lost him.