Lost In The Mind of Me

Part title

I used to wish upon the stars,

In hopes one day it would free me,

But as I grew older, so did my dismissal of hope.

As a child all I wanted was love,

But low and behold I wasn't good enough.

A single tear may fall,

But then come them all,

And no matter who I call,

I'm way too small.

Pain stains my memory,

Strikes out all the happy,

Leaving pain and misery,

My emotions run high,

As I try to hide,

Scars from over the years,

From living a lie.

I wish I could fly,

Or at least try,

To go away from a lie,

The one that is my life.

Walking away from this pain,

Leaving it behind,

To try and see a new light.

Me: Why do you hate me?

Voices: we don't.

Me: Why do you say I'm ugly?

Voices: It's what you say.

Me: Why do you say I'm fat?

Voices: It's what you say.

Why is it no matter how hard I try,

In the end,

these words stay with me?

Hush little child,

you shan't cry,

I'm your friend,

can't you see,

Hush little child,

take my hand,

drop that knife,

fly into light,

kiss mama goodbye,

Hush little child,

close your eyes,

and sleep forever,

in my arms,

Hush little child,

death is here,

i'll carry you,

to your bed,

beneath your blanket,

of beautiful dirt.

A kiss so tender, luscious, sweet,

A kiss to bury me 6 feet,

A kiss of wonder, of lust,

A kiss of death,

A kiss goodbye.

Smile for me,

Smile for you,

Smile for tomorrow,

Smile for hope,

Frown for me,

Frown for you,

Frown for yesterday,

Frown for today,

Yet smile away,

All the pain.

Home sweet Home,

Home of lies,

Home of hate,

Home of broken love,

Home sweet home,

Home of warmth,

Home of love,

Home of hope,

Home sweet Home,

Home all gone,

Home walked out the door,

Home no more,

Home sweet Home,

Where art thou,

When I needs't thee most?

Whom is supposed to hold thee,

How no one else will,

Why did I leave home?