Special kind of Mentally Ill

4

  We waited patiently for her to come back. She was still asleep for another hour, but eventually she woke up. Bandage wrapped her head. When she awoke the doctor came in.
  "The surgery was successful as far as we know. We did find an infection but got it taken care of. The tumor was sent for testing. By tomorrow we should have the results. You're a fighter Jackie, you're doing great." The doctor smiled.
  "Thank you Doctor Monroe." Her mother said. He then left the room.
  "I'm still here!" Jackie teased.
  "Honey, you're going to be fine!" As the day passed on I stayed with her and her family. I don't think her father was pleased that I was there, but her mother helped the situation. Around 9pm, when visiting hours were to be over Doctor Monroe came in.
"Hello, sorry to catch you so late. The results came in. Unfortunately it was cancer and we're going have to start you on chemo. Tomorrow will be the first day. After the first one you'll feel sick, but it's normal to feel that way. Over time it will get better. Over the course of a few weeks you'll have multiple treatments. You can bring games and things to do while in treatment. Any questions can be asked to me or emailed. I'll have the nurse give you my extension." The doctor said walking out. Jackie wasn't crying, but her mother was a wreck.
"Mom, I'm going to be okay. I'm strong." She smiled. I was nervous. I couldn't let anything happen to her. I'd be there for her through everything. I went home after two days and my parents were in the living room.
"You're sister's due date is tomorrow." My mother told me when I walked in.
"Okay," I took my shoes off while I sat on the stairs. My mother came over to me.
"Are you okay? How's Jackie? I haven't spoken to you since she was here."
"She's sick mom, she's really damn sick." I stared at the floor.
"Sweetheart, how so?" She sat next to me.
"She had a brain tumor. It was removed but it was cancer. She's getting her first chemo treatment tomorrow."
"Oh my gosh! Honey...everything will be okay, I can pray for her." My mother rubbed my back. I got up.
"Honey, if you need anything—" I cut her off by walking away. I didn't want to talk about it. As the week passed on I went to school like normal. I was tired and exhausted. I had been visiting Jackie everyday and she was only getting worse. She started to cry, and nothing anyone could say would calm her down. She was weaker than ever and she was getting sicker. The chemo made her stomach ache, and she would throw up. I was there to hold her hair, and to give her water. Her parents had to work, and they relied on me to be there for her. Her mother was a mess most of the time, and she could barley see Jackie without crying. Her father was tending to his job, his wife, and now his sick child. I went to school, and I couldn't focus. I slept in class, and I barley spoke to anyone. After my history class on a Friday, Stephanie, one of Jackie's friends came over to me at my locker.
"Hey, I was just wondering where Jackie's been. I haven't seen her in like a week, and she isn't answering my calls." She started. I turned towards her with bags under my eyes.
"She took a trip to her grandmas. Her grandma is sick and she needed to help her." I lied. I couldn't tell anyone. Her parents hadn't even informed the school yet. I was tired, but I wasn't going to tell anyone that.
"Oh, how long will she be gone?"
"I don't know Stephanie, I have no clue." I snapped.
"Okay geez, I'm sorry." She walked away. After school Gunner stopped by my house. My mother opened the door.
"Gunner! Hey, I think Lenny was just getting ready to take off." She informed. I came down the stairs to see him.
"I'll be in the kitchen." My mother went off.
"There's a field fire tonight, wanna come?" He asked. I sat on the bottom step putting my shoes on.
"You came all this way to ask me that?" I looked up at him.
"Yeah, look dude, you look tired. I don't know what's going on but if you need help, the guys and I said we would."
"I don't need help, I'm fine." I lied.
"You aren't, you don't talk, and you look exhausted."
"I just need to help my father on the farm." My mother was hearing all this.
"Okay, well I guess I'll be off. I hope you can make it tonight." He then left. Before I left my mother came back over to the foyer.
"Honey, I think you should get some rest, your friends are concerned. I am too." She informed.
"I'm fine!" I yelled leaving. I sat with Jackie while she lied in her bed, sleeping. I fell asleep next to her. At 5 pm I felt a buzzing in my pocket. It was my mother. I answered it and she let me know she was at the hospital with my sister. She was in labor. It was the hospital that I was at. I couldn't leave Jackie, even though she was fast asleep. Hours passed on and around 8pm my mother found the room I was in. I sat staring at Jackie. My mother came to the door and then into the room.
"What are you doing in here?" I whispered. She looked at Jackie.
"I just thought you could use some company. Kit won't be having her baby for a little while." She told me.
"You should go." I said. We were quiet as we spoke.
"No, I can stay for a little while."
"Mom, go please." She gave me a sadden look and left the room. Moments after she left Jackie started to have a seizure. I screamed for help. I then called her parents and her father showed up.
"Where's—"
"I had to take her into a mental hospital." He told me. Jackie was taken away and then Doctor Monroe came in.
"Hello, I wish I could say that she's doing better and she'll get better. The fact of the matter is, Jackie's only getting worse. We expect her to pass in the next day or two. Her condition just is a very rare and horrific form. If you need a social worker I can recommend you some. I'll leave it up to you if you'd like to tell her. Right now she's stable but she's out cold. I don't know if she will open her eyes. I know she can hear. I'm sorry," the doctor walked out. Her father sat in a chair. His hands on his head. I paced back and forth.
"Son," he looked up at me.
"Yes?" I answered. We were both chocked up.
"I'm telling Jackie," he informed. He was mortified.
  "Do you think that's best?" I asked.
  "Yes, she should know." I followed her father into a new room that Jackie was placed in.
"Honey," he gripped her fragile hand. "I don't know how else to put this, but you're dying." He held back his emotions. Her hand twitched in his.
"Do you mind if I have a moment?" He asked me. I left the room. I stood in the hallway. Everything began to spin and shake. I slide down the wall and put my head in between my knees. I couldn't hear anything but the clock ticking. It was clearly irony. Forty minutes later her father came out.
"I'll go get coffee, you have your moment now." He was being kind to me. I walked in and sat where her father once sat. This time I gripped her hand.
"Jackie, I don't know if you can hear me or understand me..." I saw her eyelids open slightly.
"I can." Her voice was faint and raspy.
"Jackie! Oh my gosh, I should get your father." I stated.
"No, please...just let me hear you first." She requested.
"Jackie, I love you. You make me feel alive, and I don't know what I'm going to do without you. Please don't leave me. You're the only one who knows. You are the only one who knows." I repeated myself.
"Listen to me," she demanded. I looked her in the eyes.
"You need to never tell anyone. You will be okay without me..." She slowly spoke.
"I can't, this is my fault. My punishment."
"It's not. It's not your fault. People get sick. I guess I'm just one of many."
"What can I do? What can I do for you?"
"Nothing, stay by my side until I'm no longer here." She requested. I was beside myself. I was sad, and angry. I was scared, something I hadn't been in so long. Her father came back.
"Jackie, my beautiful daughter." He came over to the side of her.
"Hi Daddy," she smiled.
"Did you hear me?"
"I did, it was so sweet. Daddy, I know you love me." She wasn't sad. She knew what was going to happen.
"I do, and your mother does too."
"Where is she?"
"She had to take care of a few things."
"My things?"
"No, not those things."
"Lenny," she called out for me.
"Yes?" She made me come close to her.
"Take my diary. It's under my pillow in my room. Don't let anyone read it. Okay?" She asked.
"Yes." I kissed her head.
"I am ready to go soon."
"Jackie, no." I whispered holding her hand tight and resting my head on her.
"Yes, I love you all." Her eyes closed.
"Jackie?" I said. "Jackie?" I repeated. "Jackie!" I yelled.
"She's gone son." Her father teared up. Her eyes opened and the monitor was now making a high pitched noise.
"I'm sorry," a nurse said. She unplugged the equipment and took out her IV. She then left, to give some space. Her father and I sat in the room. He cried, and I did too. I never cried, and I hadn't since I was young. I sat in the room with her lifeless body. It was like I'd never seen anyone die before. That was ironic. Her father left, and I still stayed holding her hand for another hour. He came back with a few people and they had to take her away. I didn't want to let her go. What was I to do?