Special kind of Mentally Ill

6

Senior year was coming to an end quickly. Everyone was getting excited and they began to plan a field fire for a celebration. Laney followed me around and I felt like it was Jackie sometimes. I'd turn around to see Jackie's smile but no Jackie. It had been a month since her passing and I still thought of her everyday. Everyday I drove Laney home. She was always wanting to adventure, but I decided to drive her straight home. She was a bit rebellious. It was a Friday, and in a week we would be graduating.
  "There's a party at Ralph Johnson's farm tonight. Are you going?" She questioned.
  "If you're going," I stared at the road.
  "Do you like me?"
  "What?"
  "You like me. You're always near me, you drive me home everyday, and you're only going to the party if I'm going." She explained.
  "I'm just being a friend,"
  "So you don't like me?" We got to her house. I turned towards her.
  "No, I do not like you." I was being truthful.
  "Okay, well then you don't have to keep trying to protect me like you're my boyfriend. I don't need you," she got out and slammed the door. She was frustrated, and that I could tell. When the time came for the party I laid in my bed. I thought I had better not go so I distracted myself with video games for an hour. When it was 11pm I hopped in my truck and left for the party. I didn't like Laney, but I also didn't not like her. I felt nothing, as usual. I didn't want to lose a piece of Jackie. I had to be with her, I had to pretend to love her. I knew I did. Laney was rebellious, and I knew she'd be getting into trouble. When I arrived, the barn was flooded with drunk teenagers. I went in and I couldn't see two feet in front of me. The place had so many people drinking from kegs and from beer cans. I searched around for Laney, bumping into one person after another. It had been a half an hour and I couldn't find her. I began to search frantically. I needed to find her. I didn't trust her. I walked around the barn to see people kissing and falling over. I saw that people were in piles of hay kissing and probably doing more than that. I went by every pile. Just outside the cornstalks just a few yards from the barn was a haystack. I saw that Laney was kissing Trent Group. He was a jock that was very aggressive and had no respect for girls. I went over and tugged Laney's arm up.
  "Hey!" She shouted. She then looked me in the eyes. I yanked her up. She stumbled as she walked.
  "Hey! Hey!" I heard Trent yelling. We stopped before the barn.
  "Excuse me?" She pulled her arm away. "What do you think you're doing?" She gasped.
  "Saving you from Trent,"
  "I was having a good time with him. It doesn't matter to you. I told you if we aren't together then don't protect me." She crossed her arms.
  "We are together,"
  "You told me you didn't like me,"
  "Well I do, I like you." I lied. She grinned.
  "Well you can't just do that—" I then kissed her.
  "Let's go," I said. She hesitated but then followed me to my truck.
"My fathers going to hate you," she chuckled.
"I know, it's okay." I said. I didn't smile at her. She recognized this.
"You don't smile much, or maybe even at all." She mentioned.
"Oh—" I felt like I wasn't a human. From then on I tried to smile more. I took good care of Laney, no matter what. I watched her, and I even attended parties to make sure she was okay. The end of our senior year came and that's when there was a huge barn party and field fire. People from all over came. I tried to keep up with Laney. She got away from me when my friends saw me and approached me.
"Laney!" I tried to pull her back towards me but she got away.
  "Hey man!" Vince pat my back. Gunner handed me a beer.
  "Dude, you need to drink and relax!" Said Brice. They led me to the fire. I looked for Laney but couldn't find her anywhere.
  "The girls are off dancing in the barn. Lets have some guy time." Gunner shouted over the crowd of voices and loud music.
  "I think—" I was then interrupted.
  "Let's go do the keg!" Brice shouted. They drug me over and we drank from the kegs. I started to loosen up. I was so drunk. I was falling over and wobbling. Then Lynette came out screaming my name.
   "What what what?" I slurred.
  "You need to come into the barn!" She yelled.
  "Lynette..." I gave her a sigh.
  "No—"
  "Honey honey honey, we aren't doing this again!" I put my hand on her shoulder.
  "No you numb nut, it's Laney!" She informed.
  "What?" I was confused.
  "She screaming bloody murder and crying in the barn. No one can calm her." I perked up and followed Lynette inside the barn. Everyone was stopped and Laney sat on the top part of the barn. Tears streamed down her pale blotchy face and she was a hysterical. I got up the stairs as quickly as my drunken self could get up.
  "Laney," I kneeled beside her. She looked up at me. She was short of breath.
  "He wouldn't stop—" she balled and rubbed her wet eyes.
  "Who?"
  "I don't know his name."
  "Okay, what wouldn't he stop?"
  "Touching me, I told him to stop. I screamed but no one could hear me. He covered my mouth and put it in." She cried.
  "What? Are you saying someone raped you?"
  She nodded. I was so confused. I felt sobered up when she said that.
  "Where is he?" I asked.
  "Somewhere around here." She sobbed. I got her up.
  "Show me." I pulled her down the stairs. Everyone was back to partying. We went through the whole barn and around it. There was no sign of the boy. Then we got to the fire and she pointed him out. I was furious. I had to control my temper. It was hard. I saw my friends in a circle and joined them with Laney.
  "Everything okay?" Vince questioned.
  "No, but do me a favor and just watch Laney," I whispered as she stood close by.
  "Sure," he agreed. I had to kill the boy. I couldn't drive home. I found an axe in the barn, and then I searched for gloves. He had a box of rubber gloves and I took a pair out. I set them by the axe. It was 3 am and people lied everywhere sleeping. Some in the barn, some in trucks, and others outside by the dead fire. I found some heavy duty duck tape and ripped a piece off.  It was dark out, and no one was awake. I saw the boy sound asleep by the fire. I got everything ready. I quietly snuck over to him and set the axe down. Then I duct taped his mouth and then I found a rope and tied his hands and feet. He wiggled around and tried screaming. I drug his body into the field along with the axe. My gloves were on and I whispered in his ear.
  "You raped Laney, and now you'll die." I raised the axe and slammed it to his throat. His head was cut off his body. Blood pooled around the tall cornstalks. I left the axe and then I went to the fire and lit it. I burned my gloves. Some people woke from the heat of the fire on their faces. Around 9 am everyone was waking up and leaving. I carried Laney to my truck and drove her home. She woke up when we got there. She cuddled up next to me.
  "Lenny," she stared ahead. I looked at her.
  "I'm scared," she began to cry.
  "It's okay," I stroked her head. "It's all over now," I kissed her and she went inside. I then went home and helped my father on the farm. He asked how my night was and I told him it was great. I had just killed someone, and I told him it was great. I felt no remorse.