Special kind of Mentally Ill

10

A few days passed on. It was soon the end of the week, and nothing more out of the normal had happened. Arnold was still not sleeping. He was wide eyed, and he wasn't taking care of himself. He left the guest room a mess with food everywhere. All he did was lay in bed and watch criminal television. It was unhealthy. He wanted to confess so much, but I stopped him. He was slightly insane at this point. Laney wasn't thinking about it much, she had some big exams coming up and mainly focused on those. Friday night she went to a study session in the library at school a few hours after class. I got home around 5pm and made myself a sandwich. I played some music and hummed the tunes. I ate my food, turned the television on and tried finding something interesting to watch. When I couldn't find anything I decided it would be a good idea to check on Arnold. The door to the bedroom was closed. I knocked on it a few times and got no answer. I called his name and still...no answer. I opened the door to see my brother hanging from a sealing fan. I wasn't phased much. He was blue and his neck was bright red. I saw him dangle. I then saw a white card sticking out of his back pocket. I took it out.
"I am so sorry. I have committed awful sins. I killed innocent girls. I was part of the frensen murders. My brother, Lenny, he also killed the girls, along with many others. Lock this monster up. Mom I love you, and you too Dad. I'm sorry, I cannot live with the sin of murder on my heart. This is my way out. I'm sorry.
-Arnold."
I snatched the note and stuck it in my pocket. I had to call the police. I just stood there watching him sway. A few moments later Laney came home. She came into the room screaming.
  "What the hell Lenny!" She yelled. She was in tears. I stood there, trying to feel bad.
  "We need to call the police." She stated. I didn't answer her. I wanted to feel something, I wanted to be sad. We can't all get what we want, can we? I took Laney out and shut the door.
  "Lenny!" She cried into my shoulder. I wasn't phased. Here I was having a sweet girl crying on me, that I didn't love, and my brother hanging in the room next to me, that I didn't care about. I had been living this way for to long. There was no fix. I sat her on the couch and called the police. They took him down, and investigated. An ambulance took him out in a gurney. He was covered. When it was all done Laney was a mess. It wasn't something she should've seen. I should've protected her. I took her to the bedroom and she fell asleep. I couldn't sleep that night. Even though I was numb, I still knew everything that happened was awful. I stayed up watching the TV in the living room and looking at news stories online. I was sure that my brothers death would be on there soon. I had started to think about my mom, and how she would take this. She would find out from the news. I felt like giving her the news myself. I didn't want to talk to her but I thought I probably should. In the morning I would stop by. Around 7 am Laney woke up to go to school. She walked down the stairs in my t shirt. It was long on her, but no long enough to cover her purple lace underwear. Her hair was a mess and she rubbed her dry eyes. She immediately curled up with me on the couch. She clutched my arm.
  "I wish yesterday didn't happen." She stated. I was quiet. I kissed her head. She then got up to make herself breakfast. I left after she got into the shower. I drove to my mothers. It was about 8:30 am when I arrived. I knocked on the door. My sister answered with a baby on her hip.
  "Come in." She ordered. "You don't have to knock you know." She mentioned.
  "I just felt like I should." I responded.
  "Moms up stairs. I'll go get her." She went up the stairs. I stood in the foyer looking at a house I was now unfamiliar with. My mother came down the stairs with a smile on her face and her arms open.
  "Honey!" She cheered, wrapping her arms around me. "I made some cinnamon rolls!" She guided me to the kitchen. I stood across the counter while she scooped the rolls off the pan.
  "Mom..." I started.
  "Yes?" She turned to face me.
  "Arnold, something happened yesterday."
  "What is it?" She got close with a look of worry upon her face.
  "He killed himself yesterday."
  "What?" She was shocked.
  "At my house. He was staying over for a little while. He hung himself. I'm sorry," I explained. She put her hand on her chest, and began to cry. She leaned against the counter. My sister came back down stairs. She had just put the baby down for a morning nap. She saw my mother was in distress. She came over and rubbed her back.
"Mom! What's wrong?" My sister sighed.
"It's Arnold!" She hollered. "Go get your father!" She cried. She got my father from the barn and he came in, in dirty overalls and muddy boots.
"Darling, what's going on?" He touched my mother.
"It's...its..." She couldn't speak.
"Arnold, he committed suicide." I confessed. They were stunned. They asked where, when, and how. I explained everything. Pain surged through the room. I wasn't phased. I let them all cry, and left carefully without anyone noticing. I didn't know what to do. I went off to work. By the time I was at work Arnold's report was on the news. My boss had come over to me while I placed tar in the concrete.
"Lenny, if you need anything let me know. I know your brother just passed and if you need a few days off, actually I demand you take a few days off." He stated. I was soon sent home. I would be gone for a week or longer. I didn't need the break. I didn't want to seem robot like with no emotions. I wondered if my family was okay. Word was spreading fast. When I got home Laney was there. She had a few boxes in the foyer. I closed the door behind me and saw her bringing another box down the stairs to stack on the rest.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"We can't live here, your brother died here." She stated.
"Laney! I never agreed to this." I said.
"Well, be real, you can't be reminded of his death everyday. I don't want to reminisce on it." She then went back up stairs to pack more. How was I to say no? Any normal human would want out of their house immediately after something so tragic. I was different. I wanted to stay. She came down a few moments later with more belongings.
  "I found a cute house about ten minutes from here on Rover road. I think it connects to these roads." She explained. What was I to do? As she walked down the stairs with the next box I told her to sit. She sat on the bottom step while I stood in front of her.
"Laney, I don't want to move."
"What?"
"I know it's tragic what happened, but I fixed this place up on my own. This is my house." She had a look of disgust upon her face.
  "You can't be serious? You're brother—"
  "I know what happened Laney." I rolled my eyes. She was confused.
  "If you really wanna live here, you can." She sighed.
  "And for you?" I asked. She starred down at her feet. She shook her head.
  "Laney!" I exclaimed. Any real human could understand why she wouldn't want to stay. She got up.
  "I'm going to take my stuff to my car and stay with my friend Janice from college." She started to carry her boxes to her car. I watched her leave me, and I wasn't sad. I wanted her to think I was. I frowned and said nothing. About an hour later she was done.
  "Goodbye," she kissed my cheek and left. The big wooden door slammed behind her. I wasn't sure what this meant for the both of us. I think she was trying to prove a point to me. I paced back in forth in my tiny house. I wasn't sure what to do with my stuff. I knew I should put it away but I couldn't. Around 5 pm my mother and father came over to my house. I wasn't expecting them. I heard a knock at the door and answered it. They stepped inside.
  "You're moving?" My mother noticed the boxes.
  "No, it's a long story." I sat them in my kitchen. I got them coffee and some carrot cake that Laney had made.
  "What's going on?" I asked.
  "Arnold's funeral is Monday.We would have just called but you don't answer." They admitted. They were right.
  "Okay," I responded.
  "You're going to go right? The viewing is at 10 am and the funeral is at 4 pm." Said my mother. I watched her mouth move and heard nothing. I didn't know if it was in my best interest to go. I mean after all, I practically killed him. After they left about an hour later Gunner came to my door. I was confused.
"Hello?" I answered. He came inside.
"I heard about Arnold. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"Tragic, but I'm okay." I wasn't lying.
"You don't seem to be upset. Is this an act?" He chuckled.
"No," I said with a straight face. We sat on the couch. This moment would change everything.